Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Feeling full on Optifast

When I first started Optifast, I remember very well that feeling of being hungry, even an hour or so after having a shake.  Oh my gosh, I wondered if I would ever get into ketosis and not feel like I was absolutely famished.  I wrote about that hunger feeling here, knowing I had to push through the uncomfortable part since the clinic gave us plenty of warning.  They said, yes, the first few days are very hard, but it will get so much better.  When I decided to do this program in the first place, I was so desperate to get healthier that I was willing to do whatever the clinic said I was supposed to do.  I trusted them, given their success rates with thousands of people over many years.  I had to trust if I wanted to walk away from being a super morbidly obese woman.  And the desire I had to do that is beyond any words I could ever express here.  Let's just say that I have wanted nothing more in my life than that, which says quite a bit, given the things I've been through in my life.  It's just that being that heavy person hurt me more than just in a physical sense ... it crushed my spirit and the world is a better place with a happy Kathy in it.

Thankfully, I did eventually go into ketosis after about two weeks, although most people only take about three days.  What can I say ... if I'm going to do something, do it to an extreme!  I can honestly say that not only am I not hungry any longer, but I actually feel full.  It's a weird sensation because I just have my shakes and an optional 1-2 chicken broths each day.  That's it - no food that I chew outside of the once a month communion tablet I have with permission from the clinic.  (Don't be alarmed if you're not sure how the nutrition part of this program works - I get all of my daily nutrients if I have the minimum five shakes a day and I actually have six because of the diabetes.  I even take vitamins to seal the deal!)  I do prefer my shakes made in a blender with lots of ice so they end up frothy and almost chewy.  After seven months, I kid you not when I say I am full on Optifast.  There are so many people that see me blending my drinks in my handy-dandy little blender I have at work like the one on the left and tell me they never could do what I'm doing.  I didn't think I could seriously do this when I first got the idea in my head to go the Optifast route.  On the surface level, I had a lot of doubts with my ability to follow through with this because I had failed at so may attempts to lose weight before.  I had huge resolve, don't get me wrong, but I'd hardly last an entire week, sometimes even breaking it before the day was done.  Yet, down deep, I knew my faith would give me strength to move a mountain if that was my charge.  I knew I wasn't walking this alone, so I was willing to give it a try. 

I haven't always had such a strong faith, especially when it came to issues of my weight and being healthy.  In fact, I can honestly say that I was really so doubtful.  After living 40 years and finding myself at 417 pounds, having never been thin in my entire life, yes, I had doubts.  Yet, when you get to a place of desperation in your life and you're willing to do anything to not die because the weight is killing you with each passing day, slow but sure, you become very, very humble.  You get down on your knees and pray to God with tears in your eyes and a heavy heart.  That was me.  Now when I'm on my knees, it's from immense gratitude.  So, if you're reading this and you don't think you can do it, I'm here to tell you that it is possible.  Look at my progress pictures.  Look through to see where I've come from and where I am now.  It is possible, my friend


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