Friday, September 14, 2012

Staring at my old clothes

One of the really great things I have gotten to celebrate in my journey to being healthier is that I am eight sizes down from my top weight.  That's a huge blessing to me.  I never thought I'd see the day when I would actually fit into the size of clothes that I do now.  As difficult as this is for me to do, it's now time for me to let go of those bigger sized clothes and get them out of my house.  You're probably wondering why I say "difficult".  After all, wouldn't it be a really good thing to let pants go that fall right off my hips or shirts that I swim in?  Yes, of course it would.  Down deep, though, there is a sense of security hanging onto things that don't fit anymore.  If I get rid of those clothes, in a sense it's like getting rid of a part of me.  I don't have any intention of fitting into those sizes again but there is a lot of history there.  I have things that bring back memories, some joyous and some painful.  I have skirts that I didn't have hope of squeezing into that now are huge on me and pants that brought a smile to my face as I could zip them up again.  Then there is the pain of not being able to wear much because nothing fit me, having gone up and up in sizes, with more emotional pain brought on by bigger sizes on the tag.  There's a sense of security in those items in a way.  Letting go of them means I am letting go of the past me.  The truth is that I want to let go now.  I have no business trying on clothes that don't fit me any more, which is what I sometimes do.  The thing is that I don't see what the rest of you probably see when you look at me.  You see a person who has lost about half of her body size and I see myself somewhere between where I was and where I am now.  I don't completely see myself at 417 pounds, that's true, but I have no accurate conception of the body looking back at me in the mirror today.  By hanging onto these sizes, I stay safely in that world, unable somehow to move on from here.  Yet, I know it's time to let go.  Just writing this out makes it incredibly clear to me ... I need to let go.

So what should I do with my clothes?  I have boxes and boxes of this stuff.  Should I donate them to the Salvation Army or some other charity?  I itemize my taxes so I could get a tax deduction for them and I know they'll come to the house to pick everything up.  Should I sell them on E-bay?  That seems like a lot of work, but it might be worth it to make a few bucks.  Or should I just drop them off at a donation bin and be done with it already?  Tell me what you think.  It feels so clear to me that I need to not hang onto them any longer, but I just can't seem to make a decision on getting rid of them. 

7 comments:

Big Heart said...

Maybe if there's an item of clothing (or more) that you would like to keep you can get it tailored? Or made into an entirely different garment? Or do the consignment place I told you about? it's called Great Curves.

Melissa said...

Well, once I make my mind up to get rid of things, I put them in a large trash bag and drive straight to the Salvation Army drop-off center. They unload the car for me and I'm on my way. Quick, painless, over and out. I recommend this route. Other options require a little more effort -- I just want to resolve it as soon as I can!

dazedlife said...

Ahhhh, letting go of the clothes.... I know this dilemma well :) it really is letting go of so much more than a piece of fabric; it's also reaching a level of acceptance of who you are - now-, that you really do look the way you look -now-. And it is OK to just- let go!

Kathy said...

Thanks for your feedback ladies! I do know that it's time to let go of these things as soon as I can if I'm ready for that (which I totally am). Perhaps some will get tailored/taken to the consignment shop but there are others that clearly need to just get outta here NOW!

The Smart One said...

One suggestion, if you do donate to somewhere like Goodwill or the Salvation Army, you get a receipt saying that you donated one box/bag. If you want to claim the deduction on your taxes, you have to estimate the value of the donation and have decent records of what you donated. What I do is I take pictures of all the clothes that are in each bag that was donated along with a list of what they were (2 jeans, 3 work shirts, 4 casual shirts, etc.). There are also calculators available online to help estimate the charitable donation value of various items of clothing. That way, if you ever have to verify the donation, you have decent records to back it up.
After being on Optifast for almost a year and losing 8 clothing sizes, I definitely had a ton of clothes that had to be purged.

Kathy said...

When I started putting things in boxes, I did start taking pictures of what I was putting in there - thank God! I just hadn't decided if I was actually going to donate them or do the e-bay thing but the pics did help me either way. I think I am going to donate them. The truth is that while I would love to see how I would do on e-bay, I just really don't have the time in my life and I need to de-stress wherever possible. Thanks for the reminder that the purging of those old clothes is a good thing, and a benefit to me and my tax life ;-) Btw, congrats to you on losing 8 sizes. Awesome!!

Alison Perris said...

It can be difficult to let go of some of your things, especially if you haven't worn them that many times, and I understand if there are moments when you can't help think of how much it cost you. But if it's for a good cause, why not, right? We sometimes need to remind ourselves that we are still fortunate to have the means to buy more for ourselves, while there are people less fortunate than us who need our help. Even if you give just a couple of decent, old shirt or jeans, I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.

Alison Perris

Post a Comment