Saturday, February 11, 2012

That was an unexpected feeling

One of my friends at work has a blender in her office that she wasn't using, so I bought it from her.  I thought it would be nice to keep one at work to make blending the shakes easier.  Because of injuries in my hands, I'm trying not to manually shake the product if I can help it.  Anyway, when she brought all the pieces of the blender to me, I had a nervousness develop in my tummy that I hadn't felt at all up to now in regards to starting Optifast.  It actually threw me off a little bit.  Where did that come from?  I haven't been mourning the loss of food up to that point, but I suppose it made it really seem like all of this is going to happen.

Tomorrow my mom is coming over for a visit and I told her she can take all my food if she wants to.  Since I'm a single person and have no reason to keep food in the house, I want it all gone.  Why tempt myself needlessly?  I suppose there's finally an advantage of singleness that I never saw before ... I won't have to deal with triggers that other people with families will have to face.  I can imagine the vulnerability that I am going to feel will be hard enough to deal with, I don't have to add more.  Still feeling very good about my decision and just trying to mentally prepare myself.  As a Christian, I have found that I am more aligned with God and spending much more time in prayer than I have been before this.  I realize I am going to need to lean on God to help me put one foot in front of the other more than I ever have before.


Post a Comment