If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you'll remember the day I fit into these. I'll never forget. I remember that feeling, like my body was actually smaller. Ever since I've put weight back on, it was one of the pieces of clothes that I just could not give up on. I put them, along with some other items, in the guest bedroom closet. I just know in my heart, somehow, someday, I will fit into them again. I happened to be in that closet today looking for something and they shouted at me as I opened that door. "Kathy ... remember how good you felt when you wore me? Remember how people would compliment you? Kathy, don't you miss me??"
Dang it, I do! It's not about the jeans but about feeling healthier. Okay, maybe it was about the jeans a tiny bit. I certainly got a lot of attention when I wore them but I think it was more about how they made me feel. So, instead of being sad today when I saw them in the closet knowing I'm a couple of sizes away from fitting into them, I actually was happy. I'm being one hundred percent truthful. They made me feel beautiful and self-confident. I smiled a lot when I had them on. And the truth is that I know I'm on the path to lead back to them and, more importantly, a healthier body. So I took them out of my guest bedroom closet and put them in my own closet. They serve as a reminder to keep going when I don't want to cut fruit and veggies up. They tell me that it's okay to push myself harder and try the absolute best I can. God performed a miracle right before my eyes the day I got those on. I pray I never forget that moment.
Tomorrow morning I have another weigh-in at Jenny Craig before I go into work. My stress level has been very high at work in the last week or two, so I hope to get some good work done knowing that no one else will be at the office. Before I do that, though, I'll pack my food so that I have my meals and snacks ready in case I need to stay there all day. I'm grateful today for the willingness to go to any lengths to take care of my body.
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