Friday, September 13, 2013

Hanging out in the closet

Do you remember these skinny jeans?

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you'll remember the day I fit into these.  I'll never forget.  I remember that feeling, like my body was actually smaller.  Ever since I've put weight back on, it was one of the pieces of clothes that I just could not give up on.  I put them, along with some other items, in the guest bedroom closet.  I just know in my heart, somehow, someday, I will fit into them again.  I happened to be in that closet today looking for something and they shouted at me as I opened that door.  "Kathy ... remember how good you felt when you wore me?  Remember how people would compliment you?  Kathy, don't you miss me??"

Dang it, I do!  It's not about the jeans but about feeling healthier.  Okay, maybe it was about the jeans a tiny bit.  I certainly got a lot of attention when I wore them but I think it was more about how they made me feel.  So, instead of being sad today when I saw them in the closet knowing I'm a couple of sizes away from fitting into them, I actually was happy.  I'm being one hundred percent truthful.  They made me feel beautiful and self-confident.  I smiled a lot when I had them on.  And the truth is that I know I'm on the path to lead back to them and, more importantly, a healthier body.  So I took them out of my guest bedroom closet and put them in my own closet.  They serve as a reminder to keep going when I don't want to cut fruit and veggies up.  They tell me that it's okay to push myself harder and try the absolute best I can.  God performed a miracle right before my eyes the day I got those on.  I pray I never forget that moment.

Tomorrow morning I have another weigh-in at Jenny Craig before I go into work.  My stress level has been very high at work in the last week or two, so I hope to get some good work done knowing that no one else will be at the office.  Before I do that, though, I'll pack my food so that I have my meals and snacks ready in case I need to stay there all day.  I'm grateful today for the willingness to go to any lengths to take care of my body.


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