Tuesday, July 17, 2012

My new desire

With weight loss comes changes in so many different ways.  Obviously is the reduction of weight and other health benefits, but things inside of you begin to change, too.  Your outlook is different, there is a renewal of your spirit and the things that perhaps you secretly wanted to do, but never verbalized out loud, begin to have a voice.  For me, that voice has been a little bit louder and louder each time I go walking.  That voice says to me, "I want to run." Um, say what??

This started happening several weeks ago.  I feel stronger and stronger each day, with so much energy and this drive to want to push myself to a place I feared before.  Today I went out for a walk and that voice was louder than it has ever been.  Why?  I have no idea, except to say I am finding this power inside to keep growing physically.  Perhaps it was scaling mountains during my recent vacation.  I don't know.  I have always felt different on the inside in terms of feeling like I was this inner athlete trapped in a larger person's body.  When I used to do 5K's, which I know I will get back into soon, and they'd sound the horn to get started, I wanted to run with the people in the front of the pack instead of merely walking.  There is absolutely nothing at all wrong with walking, it's just that I want more.

When I was on my walk today and I would cross a side street, I jogged across from one side of the other and then I'd go back to a walk.  I do have an injury from a car accident from quite a few years ago in which my left knee got slammed into the dashboard and, compounded with all the additional weight I had, created a bunch of pain.  However, that pain is barely noticeable now.  So, what I would like to do is get my doctor's blessing on this before I attempt to add in jogging and then eventually running.  I don't want to cause greater damage, no matter how loud that voice is telling me to just run.  In the meantime, I'll continue my fast-paced walking and enjoy that.  I just ache for more right now.  What is happening to me??


Anonymous said...

You've been doing so much walking that your inner athlete is yelling for more! Hopefully everything will turn out well regarding your knee and you'll be able to start running sometime :)

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