Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A different feeling

One of the things I committed to when I decided to go away on vacation was that I was still going to make exercise and taking care of myself a priority.  Nothing changes because I'm away from home.  So when my friend called me from her hotel room this morning to announce that she was feeling lazy and didn't want to go with me, I didn't let that stop me.  I got in my car and went to the downtown area of Morro Bay.  Living in a big city, it's a little different for me when people look me in the eye as they pass me with a very cheery, "Good morning!"  Practically everyone I walked by this morning did that.  It actually was rather lovely.  I ended up going to the bay, walking on the boardwalk and then eventually found the beach.

Taken on my walk this morning.
Ah, the ocean.  I have lived in sunny San Diego since I was three years old.  I am a California girl through and through and love being near the ocean.  Watching the waves break and come into the shoreline is the most peaceful sight and sound in the world to me and I just love it so.  As I got off the boardwalk and stepped onto the sand, I had forgotten how thick it can be when you are wearing sneakers.  I was utterly amazed at how much easier it was to navigate my body through that sand.  Before, I would have been huffing and puffing the whole way through or, worse, not even have gone in the first place.  Even though the distance from the parking lot to the actual shoreline was pretty far, I practically bounced there.  I walked pretty far on the shoreline and just breathed in that air.  Mmmm!  I felt so much a part of the living, instead of feeling like I was heading toward death's door.  It's an amazing feeling that is pretty hard to describe.  I was out there for two hours this morning and I absolutely loved every second of it.

Going on Optifast is a huge sacrifice, not only financially but emotionally.  At least I can say that is the case for me.  Sure, someone could view it as easier because all you're doing is drinking these shakes and not eating, right?  Give it a try for a week, for just a few days, and you'll soon find out how hard it really is.  The world around you eats food and you don't.  I certainly am not complaining, though, just saying that it's not as easy as it may appear to someone judging the program.  I know there are some people right now who are struggling with the products ... not liking the taste, fighting the process, maybe even picking apart the program.  All I can is that I have had to look deep within myself to figure out if this is all worth it or not.  I have not had food in five months.  Of course that is difficult!  But, unless there is medical issue going on, I had to leave the bargaining at the door, at least in my situation.  I was absolutely in a bad place when I first started the program ... 417 pounds, a myriad of medications I was taking, aches and pains 24/7.  I had no room for negotiations any longer.  I trusted the Optifast process because they have been doing this for a very long time and, frankly, people lose significant weight on the program.  So I stopped questioning and just did it.  Please don't take offense at what I am saying if you are struggling on the program ... it is not meant to be offensive in any way possible.  I just know that for me, I needed to stop doing the things that got me to the bad place I was in. 

That leads me back to this vacation.  It's different for me, very different.  I am not holed up in my room ordering room service, bringing large amounts of food into the privacy behind the door.  I am out going on two hour walks in nature and loving it.  I can appreciate the company of my friends and strangers without it being about the food.  These are things this gloriously wonderful program have brought into my life. Now I'm about to head out the door for more walking.  Can't wait ;-)


Anonymous said...

I can appreciate how different this vacation must be from vacations-past! What a wonderful opportunity to experience a non-food-centric vacation! I've been so anxious about how I'll handle my own vacation in October, since it has always been about the food. Thank you for sharing tht's it's possible to enjoy even time away, without the food craziness! You're right, it's a sacrifice in so many ways....I completely get it. You are definitely my hero! Sending you prayers and blessings!!

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