Monday, July 9, 2012

Amazing reaction

My weekly weigh-in was pretty good.  I lost three pounds, which I am perfectly okay with, especially given that it was that time of the month during the week.  Truly, I have finally, finally gotten to that point where I totally get that it is okay not to lose a gargantuan amount of weight each week.  I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing, not cheating on my program and exercising, so I feel good.

During my last post, I wrote about shopping for the dreaded bathing suit.  I had two suits at home, but they were way too big on me when I tried them on.  I was practically swimming in them, so that was a no-go.  I said to myself, okay, I will go out to one more store.  If they don't have something that will work for me, then I will let it be okay.  I really was at peace in the moment about it, realizing it's certainly not the worst thing in the world if I don't go swimming and having gone through my process of feeling negative, then turning it around and ending on a positive note.  It is what it is.

When I got to the store, I pulled about eight bathing suits into the dressing room in different sizes, just in case.  The first one was not looking good on me, so on to the second.  It was a tankini with underwire bra with a cute little skirt for the bottom.  I tried it on and, in that moment, I understood what Cinderella felt like when the glass slipper fit like a glove.  It was perfect on me.  In fact, I looked in the mirror and actually thought I looked cute.  Do you know how huge that is??  Cute in a bathing suit?  Crazy but true.  The little skirt covered the parts of my upper legs that I wanted covered without being long and the rest of the suit accentuated the right parts.  I thought of my ex-boyfriend again, knowing he would have loved the bathing suit on me, and thought to myself, "Ha, you're the big loser, not me, you ass!!"  Okay, I know that was immature, but it's what I felt.  After what he did to me, it was a big deal for me to recognize and really feel in my heart with complete sincerity that he is the one missing out on being in my life, most definitely not the other way around.  When our relationship ended, I was utterly devastated and while he did me no favors, it actually ended up working out for the best because I don't need someone in my life treating me less than I should be treated. 

So anyway, I was proud of myself for being so positive with the experience today and thrilled that it turned out so well.  I'm headed off tomorrow morning with my friend and we are both sooo looking forward to this.  We're excited to become Thelma (me) and Louise (her) for the week, minus the mayhem those two got into!  I am bringing my laptop with me, so I will still be blogging, even from the road.  This is an important process in my program leading towards a successful weight loss.  I am bound and determined that this is my time to finally heal and be in a healthy body.


Melissa said...

SO happy for you! I knew you would find a new one!! Have a great time on the vacay...looking forward to all of your "status updates"!

Truth Teller said...

Clothing is so powerful. Happy for you, my friend!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on finding the perfect suit! You must have had some wonderful swims in it by now....I'm having problems posting comments to your blog. I think I'm limited to once a month? Lol! I managed to post once today, so I know I'm pushing it, trying to post this one as well. Just know that I've been reading your blog faithfully, and while I'm having technical difficulties that keep me from responding, they always stimulate much thought and a whole lot of feelings. I'm many states away, but still feel that I'm walking right next to you on this journey. Thank you.

Kathy said...

Hmm, I'm not sure why you are having problems posting more than once a month. The only reason I can think of is maybe because you're posting under "Anonymous"? Kinda weird but I'll check on the settings. Of course, you can always send me an e-mail as well. That address is listed on my "About Me" link on the right.

I couldn't swim during this trip because it was frightfully cold for the summer time (I'm used to San Diego weather!). I am going to Vegas this coming week, so I'm sure I'll have uses there.

Post a Comment