Wearing clothes that actually fit

One of the surprising things that I have had to deal with in terms of weight loss is not about clothes that are too small, but clothes that are too big.  I don't fit in my old clothes any longer (news flash to me apparently).  They are way too big on my body and I need to accept that.  It sounds like something easy to deal with or even a non-issue, one would think, but my head has not quite wrapped itself around that truth.  I still keep trying to put on things that just don't fit me any longer and when I go out in them, I am constantly flashing undies, bra straps and grabbing my waistband before pants fall right off of my body. 

So one of the things that I recently decided to do was let go of all my workout pants and get new ones that fit my body.  It's been a weird experience for me because they feel body-hugging now.  They're not, of course, they actually fit me but it's been hard not hiding in my pants that are 5 sizes too big.  This morning when I went out walking, I felt like my ass was on display because you could actually see I had one instead of pants that were swimming on me.  I kept staring at it in the mirror before I left the house wondering if I looked okay and then thought, "Screw it, I'm out there to exercise!"  Who cares if I am on display, although I hardly think I am.  It actually felt very good to see my legs in pants that fit because it was so clear to me that I have lost a lot of weight in them.  There are muscles there now that I just couldn't see or feel before.  There is power behind those legs that help me take good care of myself.  When I go walking, I start out a little slower to make sure I'm getting a good stretch before I kick up the speed, but I do turn it into a power-walk eventually.  I get lost in my music and before I know it, I've done three miles without even feeling like I went very far at all.

At another truth that has been shocking to me is that I have discovered I love exercising.  This is crazy, I realize, but it's true.  I have always felt there was this athletic girl hidden somewhere in the depths of me, just fighting and clawing to get out.  As I continue to drop weight, she is emerging more and more.  Each time I know I am going to exercise, I actually am full of excited anticipation.  Excuse me, but who is this??  Certainly not the Kathy that detested going out there, out of breath, not wanting to sweat.  Yet, I love knowing I am going to hit the pavement.  I am happy when I'm lacing up my shoes, happy when I am heading up a hill that I couldn't make it up before, happy to feel my feet take me mile upon mile.  Oh my gosh, that's it ... I am happy!  The fact is that I am out there, doing my thing, going beyond my wildest expectations for myself, taking care of my body in a way I could have never envisioned for myself before.  These are things that make me want to drop to my knees in gratitude to God.  It's a thankfulness I just can't really articulate, except I think you know that gratitude I have in my heart if you're on the same journey I am on and experiencing things in the same way I am.  I'd even classify that things that I am able to do now and want to do now as miracles.  The change in me is incredible and I can't wait to see more!