Monday, May 21, 2012

Weekly weigh-in & growth

I think I have finally crossed the threshold of not second-guessing my weight loss and attacking it as never being good enough.  Tonight I had my class and discovered that I lost 4 pounds this week, for a total of 109 pounds so far.  Normally, I would say the 4 pounds is just not good enough, that I should be working harder and exercising more.  But tonight I truly felt in my heart in a very real and tangible way that the number doesn't have near the importance that I have given it.  The reason is because I have lost a crazy amount of inches and I can see it not only in my clothes but in just my whole persona.  My face is changing, I can cross my legs without too much effort and I just generally fit differently (better).  I have given that dang scale too much power and it just has to stop.  Otherwise, I miss out in the pleasures life can give me in the here and now.  Tonight I was at the store getting some drinks and cat food and I caught a guy looking at me.  At first I was wondering what he was staring at almost to the point that I was going to look behind me.  Then I realized, doh!, he is checking you out, Kathy.  I don't want to be so focused on those numbers that I can't figure out how to live my life, know what I mean?  Tonight I am celebrating those 4 pounds, the 109 pounds and the fact that my clothes are too big on me.  Love it!

3 comments:

optifastblog said...

Exactly! Our leader talked all the time about monitoring your progress in many ways other than the scale - how clothes fit, how you feel, increase in strength, endurance and just plain old comfort (like being able to cross your legs)! There's a guy in my maintenance group that gained TWENTY POUNDS after getting past transition while LOSING 2 inches in his waist. He'd started running and it was all added muscle. And truly, four pounds is awesome. As is your total accomplishment. Visualize me following off my chair in absolute amazement and admiration! ;-)

Truth Teller said...

I'm so glad to hear that! You are so hard on yourself! You have accomplished so much!

Kathy said...

You're right, I'm too hard on myself. "Biggest Loser" mentality ... if I lose less than double digits in a week, I think somehow I've failed. Stupid thinking, I know. I'm trying to be kinder towards myself, but it takes work to change the tapes in my head.

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