Monday, January 14, 2013

Weekly weigh-in

I'm exhausted after a long day, but I committed to post tonight so I'm doing it before I head off to bed.  First off, as I predicted, there is a weight gain since my last weigh-in.  It's been almost a month and I'm up 22 pounds.  Like I said, I knew it.  I'm not surprised I gained weight (although the amount was surprising) since I was struggling so badly to keep my blood sugar up at a normal level and had to have quick-releasing sugar to do it.  That combined with not being able to exercise as much when my blood sugar was so low and poor choices when I was feeling emotional leaves me where I'm at right now.  I wasn't angry, but I was disappointed in myself.  If only I had called the doctor's office sooner to get help with raising the sugar levels, if only I had made better choices ... if only.  However, as I sat in my Optifast group tonight, I knew the right place to be was with the other people who I have been doing this journey with.  I will stick with the group because I need to continue with the support that I find there.  I expressed with them my frustration, my sadness over the weight gain and the commitment that I am going to keep on the path and keep walking forward.  I considered leaving the group because I'm no longer on product and felt like I needed more, but what I need is them and my counselor.  He gets the issues I have been going through, whether it is all the medical stuff or the emotional.  He even told me, when I was describing how low my blood sugar had gotten, that people who go down to the 50's become incoherent, so he was surprised I was able to even function at 38.  Really, I wasn't able to function and I was damn lucky I didn't go into a diabetic coma.  Thankfully I'm going to see my primary care doctor tomorrow morning, so I'm looking forward to discussing everything with her.  Normal life causes stress, we all know that. But when you have other medical issues going on, it seems like the problems get compounded quickly.  I found out today that the furnace I need to replace is not going to be covered one hundred percent by my home warranty to the tune of $555 that I have to pay out of pocket.  I'll admit ... I cussed like a sailor after I hung up the phone today when I found out, but what else can I do except pay for it?  It's 29 degrees outside my house right now and it feels about 50 degrees indoors.  That's the sort of everyday stress that compounds the stress I feel from the medical challenges I have had to deal with.  However, my blood sugar is in the normal range as I type this and I am feeling like I can let the stresses of the day go.  I have the money and, besides, it's not like I have to shell out the $3,355 (the original replacement cost in addition to non-covered costs) if I didn't have the home warranty.  I'm going to get under my electric blanket, try to let the day go and get some rest. 


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