Thursday, January 31, 2013

I KNOW I can do this

Last night I posted about taking all the medication that makes me drowsy at night and a fear of not being able to fall asleep because then I would be groggy all day long.  Well, guess what happened?  That's right ... I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me.  I gave it a good try, but my heart was racing from the blood sugar situation and probably feeling stressed out, too.  I did end up finally falling asleep at 4 a.m.  However, my alarm goes off at 5:30, so functioning on an hour and a half of sleep was not fun today, especially when I didn't sleep well the night before.  Now I'm just trying to relax before I go to bed.  I have a late class on Thursday nights so I usually don't get home until 9:30ish on those nights.  Tonight I WILL sleep, so help me God!!

I am very happy to report that my blood sugar is back within normal range.  I'm hoping the spike from the cortisone shots was just a 24-hour thing.  My food was super clean today and I'm going to bed knowing I took really good care of myself.  Tonight, as I was walking across the campus of my college from class to my car, which is a 15-minute walk, I was looking down at the city lights below.  I started thinking about the fact that in just a few months, I will be going through the graduation ceremony at my college and what an incredible journey it has been for me to get my degree.  There have been lots of twists and turns in my life that affected my ability to finish, but it was a personal goal for me to do so.  And I will likely be starting a graduate program in about a year as well.  It just reminds me what perseverance and hard work will do.  That's true for many things in my life.  When I decided it was time for me to buy my house, I came up with a deposit, participated in a great program to get a good home loan rate and stuck it out through the difficult market (I had to put in 22 offers to get my place!).  When it was time to leave a job because I wasn't being treated well, I did just that and ended up at the most wonderful one where I work now.  So, with everything in me, I know I can also meet the challenge of being healthier and losing weight with the same determination and grit.  I've said this before ... I'm a scrappy fighter.  Kick Ass Kathy.  I want this so badly, more than I've ever wanted anything.  Just to feel healthier is all I am after.  I don't pretend that I can eventually get down to 110 pounds and fit in a size 4, nor would I want to.  That's not just me. 

Anyway, my pills are kicking in and making me very drowsy, so let's see how I do on sleep tonight!


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