Sunday, October 7, 2012

Dancing with the scale and tonight's dinner

A couple of months ago, I ceremoniously got rid of my scale that I had in the house and posted about it here.  Ever since I got rid of it, I think about weighing on it far more than I actually did get on it.  At our clinic, they caution us to only weigh ourselves there and only once a week.  I get the reasoning behind it but I guess the practice of weighing myself for me (and this is just me) is that it is a sort of gauge to tell me I'm on the right path.  Obviously this is not all about the numbers on the scale since they don't report inches to me.  Yet, it does give me a good reality check just to see if I'm heading in the right direction.  I get that there are fluctuations from time to time, but it has been very hard not to hop on scale at home to see how I'm doing. 

So when I was at Walmart today, I was in the aisle where all the bath furnishings were and there were the scales.  After some vacillating back and forth, I decided to pick up another scale and bring it home.  A big reason for that is now that I'm eating a meal again, I want to see how that is impacting my weight, in either direction.  I haven't been living vicariously through the number as though it determines my worth as a human, but I guess it's important to me to know the number and that's just the plain truth of it.  I got on it and here's what it said.

Last week's weigh in had me at 232.5 pounds this past Monday, so that's a loss of almost five pounds.  I was pretty shocked, especially given that I haven't lost more than three pounds during any of the previous four weigh-ins.  Obviously that added meal is not only helping with the lightheadedness I have been experiencing, but also giving me extra calories throughout the day that my diabetic body has needed.  I am still feeling very weak in my legs, which I'm going to talk to the clinic about tomorrow when I go to my class, but I can tell adding the meal in has already helped.  I'm in no way discounting what I did by bringing a scale back into my house, but it did make me feel good about the fact that I'm heading in the right direction.  I think that's my whole point ... I need to know I'm doing things that are good for my health.  Sure, there are going to be fluctuations and the scale may very well say a higher number before I get on it at the clinic tomorrow, but for the moment it felt okay for me.  Who knows what that means for me keeping the scale around, but I just need to be honest about where I am with it.  I remember times when I would weigh on a scale at home and my weight started with a "4", as in 420 pounds.  While 417 was my starting weight when I began Optifast, 420 is, to my knowledge, the top of it for me.  What a joy to know I've worked my way down to 227.8 pounds. 

Okay, enough of that!  For today's meal, which I have in addition to my Optifast shakes, I had the most divine dish.  I had two and a half cups of salad with zero calories/sugar/fat salad dressing from Walden Farms, which I have every time I have the meal which, by the way, is awesome.  My opinions about Walden Farms are my own, but go to their website and read their customer reviews.  You'll see how much other people love them, too!  The star of the dinner was my version of spaghetti except I didn't use any pasta.  It included 3 ounces of lean ground beef (which can be substituted by ground turkey, ground chicken or even veggies for the vegetarians out there), 1/2 cup of cooked spaghetti squash that I nuked in the microwave and 1/4 cup of pasta sauce from Walden Farms, also zero calories/sugar/fat.  Oh my gosh, it was fab-u-lous and incredibly filling.  It made me not miss pasta at all.  Since I weigh and measure my food, I have enough leftovers for four more meals.  Yeah baby!!  Take a look at my finished product.  I really didn't capture it's true deliciousness in the photo ... you just have to give it a try yourself.

This was on a small salad plate, even though it looks like one of the dinner plates.  It's so amazing how much I appreciate great tasting, healthy food now.  I was enjoying slicing mushrooms, tomatoes and romaine lettuce as I was making my salad - just feeling the vegetables underneath my hands as I chopped them, seeing the vibrant colors and feeling the textures in my mouth.  For those on the full-fast Optifast plan, you'll know what I mean when you re-introduce food into your day.  Don't rush to get there, but do know there is so much variety and opportunity there for you.  Taking care of my body today feels really good.


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