Sunday, October 21, 2012

Finding a better way to deal with stress

Since it was raining today, Sara and I met up at the mall to do our walking indoors.  It was nice to have a change of scenery from our usual Sunday walks and there's nothing wrong with window shopping since I left my wallet locked in my car.  We walked for about an hour and then chatted afterwards.

Can I get a cutie patootie neurologist, too?
Later in the day, I was feeling a little frustrated and anxious about my upcoming doctor's appointments scheduled for this week, especially about my visit that's coming up tomorrow morning to see the neurologist.  I need to write down all of my concerns and questions just to ensure that I am getting all of my needs met and that I walk away not kicking myself for not addressing everything.  In the face of these sort of appointments, I tend to forget half of what I want to cover.  As I started thinking more and more about this particular appointment, along with all the other ones that are coming up, my stress level was starting to go up.

In the past, the way I "dealt" with the stress led me to eventually going into the fridge and finding something to soothe me in the moment ... and continuing to go there for the rest of the day.  Instead of doing that and going down a road I want no part of, I laced up my shoes and decided to go for a 5K.  I have a course I do - I call it the Kick Ass Kathy 5K (yeah, okay, I'm a geek but I know you love me for it!) - that surrounds my house.  It's 3.2 miles complete with some hills and I get lost in the music blaring out of my iPod.  It gets my heart pumping and I feel so good taking care of my body.

I am going through some heavy duty emotions in dealing with all the medical issues.  What will the answers be?  Will there be answers?  Will I be just as frustrated, if not more, after seeing the doctor?  Lord help me, but what's wrong with me???  Handling these open ended questions is extremely difficult and trying for me.  Yet, I know I do have to handle them and not shy away from any fear I am feeling.  I can turn those fears over to God and, if I continue to feel the fear, keep doing it.  Both my parents are very concerned about what's going on with me.  No matter how old you are, you want them to kiss it and make it all better.  My dad always seemed to have the answers to life and I would look up at him with these big brown eyes as a little girl and hang onto every word.  I wish he had the words now to magically make this all just disappear.  I do know I am doing the right thing for myself by pushing the doctors to keep going until we find out what's wrong.  There's something wrong, I just know there is.  If you are a praying person, please ask for my good health and peace.  Thank you all and I'll be sure to post updates when I have them.


adorkbl said...

I hope you find some answers and feel better soon. And that neurologist has to be an actor. Too good looking. LOL.

Kathy said...

If my doc looked like that, I'd have no problem going in to see him!! More tests to come with what's going on with me, but I'm glad to be moving forward.

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