Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Sometimes I just don't have a clue

I went back to work today after having seven glorious weeks of a summer break.  I guess it all has to end at some point and I have to start earning some money to pay bills.  Everyone at work was so sweet, just fawning over me for the weight loss.  Not everyone is back at the office, that happens gradually over this month, but those that were there were genuinely happy for me.  I really have not stopped to think how huge a thing the weight loss is.  I have just been plugging away, racking up the pounds, not really trying to fathom what I have done so far.  I could have never imagined that my reality would be so incredible when I first started this journey.  I think perhaps it's a good thing that I don't think about it because I could overthink it too much.  I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other. 

During my lunch break today, I went shopping.  I wanted to pick up some resistance bands for the times when I am doing strength training at home.  I spotted the bands in the store and was just about to head out when I noticed a toning kit that had not only bands but a fitness ball, too.  I know those are great when working on strengthening your core.  That is something I really wanted to get, but I was absolutely sure I was too heavy to sit on the ball.  Still, I picked up the box, looked at the weight capacity and it said 300 lbs.  I started to put it down, disappointed that I wouldn't be able to use it, then I remembered, Wait a minute, I'm under 300 pounds now.  Not only that, I'm way under it.  My head is having a hard time wrapping itself around my life today.  I'm no longer the same person who started this journey.  I work hard for every pound that is gone from my body and I need to work on accepting that I am now living a different reality.  The current place I am in will not always be my story either.  I ended up buying the kit and proudly taking it home. 

After work today, I came home, did a few things around the house and then prepared myself for the thing I have been thinking about all day long ...exercising.  I didn't dream about food, as some people do when participating in Optifast.  I was thinking about how much I was looking forward to doing my three miles.  Gosh, talk about a major shift in my life!


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