Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Supportive circle is so important

There are moments where I get reminded how very precious the people in my life really are to me and how blessed I am to feel their arms around me.  Yesterday, on a previous post and on my Facebook page, I put up a request for prayers as I begin another new medication in hopes that it will help with the depression and pain in my legs.  My Facebook page is a personal page, not associated with this blog, so the people that know me there know me on a closer level.  Although I must say that the things I write about here are very personal so regular readers probably know me well, too!  It was so touching to have so many people reach out to me, let me know they were praying for the removal of the pain and my continued strength to move forward.  I have had people who were supportive who changed their tunes when I had weight gain.  That's disappointing and it has hurt, but the true test is people who will still be there through the tough times. 

I have gotten to see how others view me, not on a physical level, but who I am as a person.  My case in point is a gift a received for my birthday back in December.  It was a small Christmas tree, the kind that comes in it's own pot.  It came with a string of paper ornaments.  On each one was a personal note to me.  This gift, which was by far the most precious thing I received for my birthday, maybe ever, was given to me by my friends at work.  The organizer of this, who also reads this blog (hi special friend!), had everyone in the office of the high school where I work write a personal message to me. The tree is now deader than a doornail, so it was time to let it go, but I kept the string of messages.  They were all such beautiful messages about inspiration, perseverance, my character and just how much I mean to them.  It wasn't just about weight loss, it was so much more.  These are people who have known me over the years, some who have known me for a great number of years.  They have seen me at my heaviest, breathing heavy, sweating because of the excess weight, the out of control diabetes, the attempts at diet after diet, my fight against pain, my triumph over cancer ... just so much.  They have watched me meet challenge after challenge.  They have laughed with me, prayed with me and have encouraged me.  Most of all, they have surrounded me with so much support and love that I certainly could never repay.  The best thing I can do is to continue to move forward and hopefully give to others what they have given to me.

I can't express adequately enough how important it has been to me to have that support because weight loss is an incredibly difficult journey.  It's one thing to lose the weight, but it's another to deal with the emotions that come up throughout the process.  You get to really see how confident you are, how you view yourself deep down inside.  It's a highly personal process.  Sometimes, when I'm writing a post for this blog, I wonder if I really have the nerve to actually post what I've written because I bare my soul here.  Yet I have found that its that level of honesty that helps me be my genuine self and does affect others as well.  So I can't be bothered by the large number of visitors to the site.  Bothered is not even the right word, but just letting the numbers intimidate me into being quiet.  I'm so glad others get something out of my story and my journey.  As difficult as it is right now, I am not hiding out.  This process is not a quick one and it's not a once-and-done proposition either.  It takes sacrifice, commitment and a baring of my soul that I've avoided doing for too long.  It's kind of scary in one sense but absolutely freeing on the other.


Post a Comment