Mustering up the courage

The other day I posted about dealing with hair loss that has come with being on Optifast.  Some people contacted me privately to say they are dealing with the same thing, even if they are not doing the same program I am.  It does make me feel better knowing I'm not alone in this.  I already tried the Nioxin product line which didn't really work for me.  Some people have had great success with it, just not me.  Instead of just sitting here waiting for my hair to grow back, I'm trying the best I can to be proactive.  Sure, some people are probably thinking, "What's the big deal, Kathy?  It's just hair."  I get that, but it's really not just about the hair.  How often do you see women with big hair loss walking around that aren't above the age of 60 or cancer patients?  I'd venture to say you don't see them.  Besides, this is about me and feeling good about myself.  Right now the hair issue makes me want to hide in the house.  I'm not doing that, but it's the way it's making me feel.

So, I decided to try Ovation Cell Therapy.  If you live in the San Diego area or another city that is heavily marketed by this company, you likely hear ads for them on local radio stations to the point of making you want to poke your eyes out.  Again, this is one of those product lines that is a hit or miss for people.  They are running a special on it right now, so I decided that I'd give it a try.  I'm in no way endorsing Ovation at all, but just writing about my experience with it.  I am really hopeful that it will help me.

From the time I ordered it to the time I received the products was only two days.  That was a great start!  Here's what came:

This is a 6-week supply, so I'm going to give it a try.  The instructions said to give it three months to see a major difference, but hopefully I'll see some sort of improvement after the 6 weeks to at least start.

The last time I posted a picture of myself on this blog, I cut off the top of my head in the picture because I was embarrassed with how my hair was looking.  This isn't just hair loss from the weight loss, but also weakened hair that left it unable to handle color processing as well as normal, so I lost a lot of it that came out in clumps.  My hair has also changed from thick and curly to very thin and messed up.  So I've been straightening it to make it look a bit better.  Anyway, the reason I titled this post "Mustering up the courage" was because I want to post some pics of what my head looks like right now.  I can't begin to express how uncomfortable it makes me, but it also is a liberating feeling to share the truth at the same time.  You can click on the progress pics link at the top of my blog if you want to compare what it used to look like, but here's what it is now.

Okay, this doesn't look too horrid. 
Besides, look at my collarbone (meaning, I have one!). 

This one doesn't hide a thing ... it's just awful.

So here I am.  I know this will get better in time and I have to find some patience to deal with it.  I just don't want to do things to isolate myself because of whatever level of embarrassment I may be feeling.  That will only lead me to frustration and picking up food, which is not solving any problems whatsoever.  Even when I put my hair up in a ponytail, I can see the hair loss on the sides, not just on the top, and I'm losing more all the time.  I'm not unique on this because others have told me they are going through the same thing every time they run a brush through their hair.

Sorry to go on and on about hair today, but it's what I'm dealing with right now in the moment.  There are definitely worse things in the world, but I also don't want to discount how I'm feeling about this either.