Friday, December 28, 2012

Grateful for watchful eyes

Today was a much better day with my blood sugar level in general.  I woke up to a reading of 104, which was perfect.  I had to get some lab work done at Kaiser and then meet a friend for a movie and lunch.  Since I had to be fasting for the lab work, I came home and had a late breakfast afterwards before meeting my friend.  I purposely had more carbs with the breakfast to hopefully not dip too low.  I tested my blood sugar and it was 89 before eating.  Then later, I tested my blood sugar again and it was 150.  That was good.  I figured that it would be fine since I wouldn't be exerting any energy while watching a funny movie (we saw Guilt Trip with Barbara Streisand - funny!).

How wrong I was on that front.

About halfway through the movie, I started sweating.  Those that know me now know I don't sweat any more unless I'm working out hard.  Even when I go walking with Sara, I hardly sweat.  Not for lack of trying, just that it's been a change in my life.  When you take off a significant amount of weight, you sweat less.  Couple the sweating with feeling disoriented, cold, tingling fingers and my body starting to tremble, I knew my blood sugar was starting to dip too low.  But, seriously, it was 150 ... how low could it possibly be after only about two hours?  I left my monitor in the console in my car, so I couldn't test.  I did leave my friend to go into the restroom to splash some water in my face, I think in a vain attempt to shake it off.

After the movie was over, I told her I wasn't feeling too well and could we please just have lunch in one of the places near the movie theater.  She looked at me and asked me what was wrong ... she could tell something was off.  It took everything in me not to burst into tears and tell her my blood sugar was low.  That normally wouldn't be a moment where I'd be crying, but given all the low blood sugar I have been dealing with lately, it was a moment of pure frustration along with the caring concern of a dear friend who has been with me through so much of my life's ups and downs.  We ended up going to a place across the parking lot that used to be Pat & Oscars (now called O's American Kitchen for those that have it in their area).  They have decent food there and I knew it would be relatively quick.  I ordered my meal, which was a half-turkey sandwich, side order of pasta and 2 bread sticks.  I purposely ordered it because I knew it had a good amount of carbs.  Is it just me or is it the weirdest thing in the world that now I'm actually seeking out starches to keep my blood sugar normal?

As we were waiting for our food, she got up and got the napkins, forks and whatever else we would need.  She was doing her best to take care of me and I was letting her, which is so unlike me.  My order came first since we were on two separate checks.  She looked across from me in the booth we were sitting at and ordered me to eat.  Here I was being polite, waiting for her food to arrive to start eating and she said it again, "Eat.  Please!"  I caught her up on what's been going on with my blood sugar and asked her if my disorientation was as noticeable on the outside as I was feeling on the inside.  She looked at me with such concern and simply told me, "Yes, it is."  Why am I so focused on being polite instead of taking care of my needs?  Lord only knows.

I have a busy day tomorrow.  I plan on going for a workout first thing in the morning, meeting a friend for lunch who I haven't seen in several months (so I know it'll be a long lunch), going to church and then meeting another friend for dinner after the service.  The place where I do my workout is right next to a grocery store.  I am committing to going in there and buying Lifesavers or something else that is sugary and putting it in my purse.  I also commit to keeping my blood glucose monitor with me at all times.  I should never be in a situation where hypoglycemia can take over my body.  I was reading up on the condition today and here's what the U.S. National Library of Medicine, a trusted government website, has to say about it:

Symptoms (I'm sure you'll be able to spot mine if you've been reading my posts):
Double or blurry vision; fast or pounding heartbeat; feeling cranky or acting aggressive; feeling nervous; headache; hunger; shaking or trembling; sweating; tingling or numbness of the skin; tiredness or weakness; trouble sleeping; and unclear thinking.

I highlighted in yellow all the symptoms I was experiencing while watching the movie in the theater.  The other symptoms are things I have felt at night.  In fact, this may absolutely explain why I am unable to ever get a good night's sleep.  Hmm, something to think about. 

The website went on to say that if a person's blood sugar gets too low, they may faint, have a seizure and/or go into a coma.  So, obviously, I have to be as absolutely proactive as possible.  I am trying my best at this, I promise I am.  In fact, I think it's time I employ a little philosophy a la Yoda:

"Do or do not.  There is no try."

The truth of the matter is that I am dealing with some very serious medical issues and I can't make light of them to try to minimize their potential effects on my body.  It's not funny that I can possibly go into a coma.  I don't know at what point that happens, but I can know without a doubt that I have either already been on the border of that or at least in the neighborhood within the past two weeks.  I can't describe the out of control feelings I have been having, but there is a great deal of fear that accompanies all of this.  I am trusting in the Lord to help me walk through this and reach out for help as I need it.  Sometimes that's the hardest thing for me to do.  Type A personality strikes again.


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