Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The clothes are finally gone

I have been talking for months about either donating or selling my clothes that no longer fit because they're too big.  Part of the battle of getting rid of them was the emotional difficulty I knew I would face in letting them go.  There is such a false sense of security there in hanging on to clothes that don't fit any more, even for positive reasons like they are now too big.  While I never wanted to fit back into them, it's also hard letting them go because it feels like a part of me is being let go as well.  That's not a bad thing necessarily, just a scary thing.  I feel so naked and vulnerable without that security blanket to wrap around myself.  It did take me a long time to let the things go because of the emotional reasons, but also physical ones.  Due to my worker's comp injuries in my arms, it's pretty painful for me to do a lot of lifting of heaving things.  I can lift heavy things, but it ends up causing me a great deal of pain.  I ended up donating six boxes of items, three of which were clothes.  Thankfully, the Salvation Army will pick up the items and leave you a handy dandy receipt for tax purposes.  So that's what they did today. 

It feels so freeing and liberating.  Part of me wonders why it took me this long to let go, but I also know we all go through our own little process in life.  As for me, I will keep moving forward.  I have to keep taking good care of myself .  Sometimes that's much easier said than done, although I'm trying my best.  My blood sugar got down to 48 today.  Oh my gosh, I am so completely frustrated by the low numbers I've been getting.  I am documenting everything for my doctor, though, so we can have the right plan of action to move forward.  I know that the significant weight loss is contributing to these low numbers because I don't know how to be anything but a out-of-control diabetic when I am on full-food.  That was my experience before Optifast, trying to deal with a body that always had high blood sugar numbers.  Now I'm dealing with the opposite, which is a new thing for me. 

Speaking of new things, I've decided to suspend my "Question of the Day" questions and answers on my posts for the time being.  While I feel it's important for me to write and journal as much as possible, especially about the emotional issues that are coming up as a result of the weight loss, I also don't want to force anything and am choosing instead to be as organic as possible.  There are plenty of emotions for me to deal with and write about along the way.  If you've read my blog posts for any period of time, you've already gleaned that much.  I do have to say the action of writing helps me tremendously.  Not only is it great when there are challenging times, but also to celebrate the triumphs, too.  My triumph today were getting rid of those clothes.  Oh, I also got rid of a bunch of shoes, too.  Forgot to mention that.  Did you know that your feet get smaller with weight loss, too?  Who woulda thunk it!  Another blessing not many of us talk about.  Here's to a smaller body and smaller feet!


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