That thousand pound telephone

I'm doing pretty well so far on the commitments I made for myself that I posted on Sunday.  Yeah, I know it's only Tuesday, but let's see ...

• Pack my lunch/snacks the night before work for the next day. Done.
• Continuing to track every food I have in my WW tracker, no matter what. Done.
• Figuring out what I'll wear the night before so that I have plenty of time to eat breakfast in the morning and other things I need to do before heading out the door without rushing. Done.
• Setting up a fruit bowl on my dining room table which is where I will go for easy to grab snacks.  I might even consider doing one at work, too.  Done.
• Putting my workout clothes in see-through bins in my bedroom so that they are in plain sight as a reminder to exercise.  In fact, tomorrow I plan on bringing my clothes with me so that I can go for a workout on my way home from work. Done.
• At some point this week, I will look into scheduling an appointment to meet with a therapist through Kaiser. And a big fat DONE. 

I am the first one to admit that preparing takes a lot more work than just dealing with things as I go.  Packing my lunch and picking out clothes the night before does take more work but it's more than worth the time.  The mornings don't seem as harried and I know that I'm taking good care of myself.  The biggest accomplishment on the list, by far, was the phone call I made to get the ball rolling on therapy.  I have to say that I was feeling the nervous nellies in my tummy as I picked up the phone but it was the bravest thing I did today.  Brave? Seriously??  Yes, brave.  It was a step in continuing to walk toward putting the past behind me and daring to adventure into an unknown land.  It's me not willing to accept a life where I am a miserable 420 pounds.  As the assistant was asking me questions to see what type of therapy I need, I could feel the tears well in my eyes.  It wasn't out of fear or feeling scared, but I think more a sense of relief that I am facing demons head on.  The soonest appointment I could get was February 28th, unfortunately.  I did ask her to put me on a waiting list if any cancellations come up.  She acted like it was a big deal and told me she would have to get her supervisor involved.  Instead of backing down, I thanked her and told her I would appreciate that.  Otherwise, I would have to wait until mid-March just for the initial meeting, which is where I complete the paperwork, meet with a therapist and we go over a treatment plan.  The only bummer is that I have a community college coming onto our campus to conduct a workshop at the high school on the 28th, so I'm hoping one of our counselors can help with that so that I can keep the appointment.  I always hate to impose on them since they are just as busy as I am, but I also know they all care for me deeply.  Hopefully there will be a cancellation and I won't have to wait so long.  I'm one of those people who, once they make a decision, they want to take action on it now.

One of the fun things I did today was I finally got myself a little activity tracker.  I have been talking about getting a Fitbit or something similar for a couple of months now.  It's a little device that tracks your steps and other activity throughout the day and shows how many calories you're burning.  I didn't end up getting that little gadget, but I did get the Weight Watcher's version, Active Link.  It's a little gadget that looks like a thumb drive that I wear on my body.  It tracks my movements for seven full days to get a baseline of my activity to help me set fitness goals.  Then, the following week, I'll be able to see how active I am each day.  Then, when it's plugged into the computer, it syncs with my WW account and converts all my movement into activity points.  I currently am allotted 47 points for food on a daily basis and activity points converts to add to my daily total.  Let's face it, the more active we are, the more food we require to keep up energy levels.  I'm still learning as I go with how WW works, but so far it's been good.  While I was at the Weight Watcher's store buying my Active Link, I bought this really awesome success package they put together for new people.  For $40, it comes with a recipe book with meal ideas, a workout video, diary for tracking my food manually, a workbook that has strategies for being successful on the program, measuring cups and measuring tape all in a too-cute-for-words carrying case.

Look, you can even see my bowl of fruit ;-)

I am doing everything I can to be as successful as possible.  I feel like a sponge just soaking it all up, but that's not a bad thing at all.  My goal is to do whatever they tell me successful people in the program do and to do it without question.  I have a really open mind about it all and staying positive, I think, is half the battle.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my rheumatologist.  I'm hoping we can get closer on figuring out what is causing the pain I've had in my upper legs for the last year.  I'm really tired of not feeling well and living with something for a year with no explained reason can't be good.  Hopefully I'll have more to report after I see him.