Pre-op class #3 and weekly weigh-in

This week's Options class was about embracing change.  Ah, change ... one of the most difficult things for most people to deal with.  I don't know many people that really love change.  If anything, most of us just deal with it.  Of course, it can be very positive as well.  I recognize that my process leading up to the gastric bypass is a series of many different changes.  My challenge will be how willing I am to handle them head-on or if I will try to bury my head in the sand.  With change comes choice.  The fact is that I can choose to change or I can choose to stay stagnant.  That's the beauty of this entire process - all these things are up to me.  I am challenged to look within and see if I am really willing to do the work or if I just want to get away with the base minimum.  It's an interesting thing to think about.  Obviously I want things to be better and to feel healthier.  But the question is if I really do want it.  Do I want to be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want or do I sincerely want to live a healthier life with healthier choices?  There's this pouty little girl inside of me that says, "Ick, how boring!  Enjoy that life eating rabbit food."  Yet, there's that other part of me that is tired of feeling aches and pains all the time.  She wants to breathe better, no longer have diabetes and just live a longer, more vibrant life.

There were some practical things I can do to continue countering negative beliefs and feelings into positive ones.  One of the challenges for me this coming week will be to immediately counter any negative thoughts I may have about myself with something positive.  Many people who have weight problems say a lot of negative things about themselves, myself included.  I can't even express how many times I'll pass a mirror and say something negative as I look at my reflection.  It's horrible that I do that because no one deserves it and, really, that's the whole point of the exercise.  Speaking of making change, one of the charges we have throughout the classes is to start incorporating practices now that will help us transitioning after the surgery.  One of the great tips was to try to eat slower by using baby utensils or, even better, use chopsticks.  Sounds like a great idea but I can't use chopsticks!  I never mastered that skill. I'd be sitting at the dining room table 2 hours after everyone else has left if I ate with them. The more I thought about it, though, the more I thought it was a great idea.  This will definitely slow me down if I'm hurrying and I'll learn something new.  See, I'm picking up all kinds of talents and skills along the way in this journey.

My weigh-in this week was pretty nice - I lost a couple of pounds.  I'll gladly take it!  My water intake has been pretty good overall.  I just need to figure out what's going on with using the CPAP machine and I think I'd be feeling fantastic.  Lack of sleep is extremely frustrating.  I saw one of my doctors today and she prescribed some sleep meds to use in conjunction with the machine, so hopefully that'll just knock me right out.  I pray I will fall right into bed and sleep the whole night through.  Mmm, that sounds devine!

Water Challenge Day 20:  Drank 168 or 186 ounces