Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Does it really hurt as bad as people say?

Warning:  I will talk about boobies being squished so this is your chance to stop reading this entry now if that bothers you!

Okay, continuing on ...

I had my first-ever mammogram today.  I do have a family history of breast cancer on my mom's side, my own melanoma as well as pancreatic cancer and leukemia on my dad's side.  Even though I'm not 50 yet, I am in a risky category so I did go in.  I had to face the robe that wouldn't fit me.  That was lovely.  [Oh Lord, will I ever get to the place where I won't worry about hospital gowns not fitting me any longer?  I digress though.] The person doing the mammogram told me to take off my bra and top and then come out wearing the gown with the opening in the front.  I might as well have just walked out with no top on, that would have been more comfortable.  I was going to put up some snarky little picture to go with this post, but I'll just let your imagination go wild if you've never had one before if you're a woman.  The best thing I can say is imagine someone picking up your boob, lying it on top of a flat digital scale (the kind you weigh yourself on) and then slowly putting pressure on it with another cold flat scale while you're holding your breath in for them to take an x-ray.  Sounds comfy, huh?  They contort it and do the same for the other side.  Actually, it didn't really hurt, just was a little uncomfortable.  I was kind of giggling because I never realized how big my boobs were.  I know, that's way more than you wanted to know, but it made me laugh because I never really paid attention before.  It's just hard not to notice when they are squeezing you between two panes of glass.  Then I wondered that, as I lose the weight, will they shrink, too?  Back when I was on Optifast and I had lost all so much weight, I went down a couple of bra sizes in the width.  It is truly okay by me if I lose some in that department.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment to see a physical therapist to work on my leg pain.  I'm looking forward to that, but also not looking forward to it.  I've been through physical therapy before and while it does feel better afterwards, it is pretty painful while it's being worked on.  I'm hoping for some relief in that department.  Pain makes me not want to exercise and it becomes a vicious cycle.  I need to kick up my exercise, particularly as I get closer to the time when I will have the surgery because it's got to be a regular part of my life then.  I wish it was now, but sometimes I just don't want to work out.  Sometimes, when I get home from work, I  just want to take a nap or watch TV.  My sleep apnea could have something to do with it or it could be I'm just in a lazy mode.  Sometimes I am drained after working all day long and just feel like I don't have the energy for more.  I'll get there again, though.  I used to go to school after work, so I know I can do the exercise, it's just hard when all I want to do is sleep.  Even now, it's 6:50 in the evening and I want to go to sleep.  How bad is that?  Perhaps it is my body telling me to get a clue!


Anonymous said...

I've had mammograms every year since I was 30 (so about 13 of them) due to family history. I'll never forget during one of my first ones the radiology tech took one look at me and said "Girl, you ain't got nuthin'" . Way to boost my confidence. Now that I've lost so much weight (and have nursed 3 babies) I really have "nuthin" ... Ok by me I guess. I call them my socks! Haha.
Anyway, I'm glad you got the mammogram off your "to do" list and I'm excited for you as you pursue the weight-loss surgery option. Totally support you all the way to getting your health back. You seem like the perfect candidate for it having seriously pursued other options and arriving at this after lots of thought and research. It has to be your decision - not anyone else's.

Kathy said...

Thanks for your support as always Martha :-) I really am hoping that I will be approved for the surgery. I'd actually be pretty surprised if they said no because, seriously, what haven't I tried? And you did make me laugh out loud with the "ain't got nuthin" comment! Some people tell it straight with no filter.

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