Pre-op class #14 and weekly weigh-in

This week's pre-op class was about identifying the choices I make on a daily basis and being able to accept responsibility for outcomes.  I realized how proactive I have been about making small changes since the six-month classes started to help me be as successful as possible when it comes time to have my vertical sleeve done.  Little by little I have been doing more and more very positive things, such as logging in all of my food, getting in regular exercise and starting to practice post-surgery eating behaviors like getting my protein in first.   I don't want to be in a situation where I am scrambling to start adopting certain post-surgical habits.  Instead, I would really like to just focus on healing and making healthy choices for myself.

During the class, a question was posed about some choices I regularly make that I dislike and cause me discomfort and pain.  The two things that came to mind right away for me was having to inject insulin because I am a diabetic and the pain I have in using my CPAP machine.  It really is hard to adequately explain how painful it is to be in a place where I need to inject insulin into my body to live.  It's not the physical pain of the needle so much as it is the emotional pain that surrounds it.  My body does not produce the insulin that naturally occurs in non-diabetics, so I have to put it into my system through a needle in my stomach.  If I don't do that, I could very well die.  There are so many emotions that surround that, running the gamut from frustration to fear.  In the same vain, the CPAP machine causes so many emotions as well.  Prolonged non-usage of the machine could lead to congestive heart failure, among other things.  It causes me emotional pain and physical pain.  I am having a very hard time sleeping with it on my face and the sleep medication I have been prescribed to take to help with that leaves me very groggy and unable to sleep with the machine on my face.

Those two things cause me a lot of distress and bring about a myriad of different emotions.  I pray that after the surgery, these two major issues get resolved.  Only God knows what the outcome will be.  I know things will be better with continued weight loss, it's just a matter of continuing to practice resiliency as I walk through this process.  Speaking of weight loss, I lost four and a half pounds this week.  Wooo hooo!  I am super thrilled with that loss.  That brings me to a loss of over 23 pounds since I started the pre-op program.  While I'm in this phase, the surgeon wants us to strive for a ten percent weight loss prior to surgery.  I have about 14 pounds to go to hit that goal, so that feels really good.  In fact, I'm feeling really good in general about where things are for me right now.  I'm celebrating successes and also facing challenges as they pop up.  A day at a time, that is very manageable.

Water Challenge Day 87:  Drank 178 of 174 ounces