Pre-op class #2 and weekly weigh-in

Week two of the pre-op classes is done!  This session was pretty fantastic.  The topic was about establishing a new relationship with food.  One of the things I love about these classes is that we're not just focusing on the logistics of the surgery.  That is great information to have, but I think focusing on the reasons why we eat to excess and the emotional component is just as important.  It is highly possible for people to have the gastric bypass surgery, lose weight and then put it back on.  If the problems are not addressed, there will not be a long-term solution.  I don't want to go through the experience of having the surgery and all the holes I've had to jump through to get there only to gain the weight back again.

One of the things I shared with the group was the fact that I was struggling with feeling extreme hunger this week.  I was told originally to follow a 1200 calorie plan for weight loss.  Suggestions were given in terms of what sorts of foods to eat with the ultimate goal of losing the recommended ten percent prior to the surgery.  I kept thinking to myself, "1200 calories doesn't seem like a lot."  In fact, I started worrying about it.  If you give a blanket calorie amount to everyone in the room, not accounting for their height or activity level, is that really going to be successful for everyone?  My food is great at breakfast and lunch but I am absolutely ravenous by the time I'm ready to head home from work each day.  I'm talking I felt so hungry you would probably be able to hear my tummy grumble from across the room.  As we working on an activity in the class, I had a pretty significant aha moment.

We were asked to write down what times we eat at each meal:

Breakfast:  6:00 a.m.

Lunch:  12:30 p.m.

Dinner:  6:00 p.m.

Morning snack:  Hmm ... 

Afternoon snack:  Hmm again ...

Then I realized, what I minute, I'm going way too long between meals.  From breakfast to lunch it's six and a half hours, lunch to dinner is five and a half hours.  That's assuming I'm eating on time.  I will bring snacks but get so busy at work that I forget about them and don't eat them that often.  Add to that the fact that I am diabetic and, well, it's just a hot mess.  Well, duh Kathy, this is why you're so flippin' hungry at the end of the day.  The leader of our group suggested that I have a protein shake when I'm leaving work.  I can even use my old Optifast packets that are collecting dust in my pantry.  Geez, why didn't I think of that?  I know it sounds simple, but I just never realized how long I was waiting to eat.  The other thing that struck me between the eyes is that, on one of our handouts, it says that 1200 calories is recommended for women.  It didn't say, "Hey Kathy, you suck if you go over 1200 calories."  This is another example of the perfectionist thinking that goes on in my head.  If you need more than 1200 calories to the point that you feel weak, your blood sugar has dropped and you have pounding headaches, for the love of everything that is holy, GO EAT!!

The rest of chapter for this week went over some suggestions on how to moderate eating now to be as healthy as possible and help us transition to the time when we will be having surgery.  Some of them included:

• Good nutrition is a critically important step toward my overall health.  I can start with a personal commitment to myself.
• The goal of good nutrition is to maximize my potential for good health every day.  I cannot achieve and maintain good health by occasionally eating well and eating poorly the rest of the time.
• Remove toxin-laden foods from my environment and stop buying those foods.
• Keep a food journal and honestly document my food consumption and use the journal to determine if any foods cause allergic symptoms.

Obviously many of these are common sense things hopefully every healthy adult would incorporate into their lives.  However, if you're like me and have had problems with compulsively overeating, bingeing or have had some sort of addiction to food, you know that common sense can often times be thrown out the window.  In many ways, I'm like a child that has to learn how to walk again.  Sometimes that means baby steps and sometimes that means running.  

As far as my weigh-in, I did lose a pound this week.  I was going to write that I "just" lost a pound, as if I need to apologize for not doing as well as I think I should have.  The truth is, though, that I need to not be so self-critical and that includes putting some expectation on myself that I think I have to live up to.  I lost a pound and that's great.  If I lose more next week, that's great, but I can be supremely grateful that I'm taking action toward getting healthier.  That's what matters the most to me right now.

I'm going to try to go to bed earlier tonight and give my CPAP machine another go, so my water consumption is going to be lower.  I don't care because I realized today, while talking to a friend at work who has adopted the water challenge for herself, that I drink about a gallon and a half each day.  I'm sorry, but that's pretty dang awesome!!  Yay me ;-)  Seriously, that is a crazy amount of fluids, especially for someone who had a tough time getting in more than 1-2 bottles a day.  Rockin' this!

Water Challenge Day 14:  Drank 104 of 186 ounces