Thursday, March 13, 2014

Don't you want a cupcake Kathy?

This is the plaza area of our beautiful high school.
California livin at its finest!
I had a relatively busy day at work, just running around doing a million different things.  We had an Elective Fair at school, which is something that I coordinate.  It's an opportunity for our students to learn about the various electives we offer from teachers or other students currently taking the classes.  That was happening at lunchtime, so I needed to make sure everything was set up properly.  After our custodian got all the tables and chairs set up, my friend and I went around and moved them around a bit and put signs ups.  We both have pain in our wrists from injuries, so that was a big challenge.  Just standing over the tables and putting on the signs hurt my back.  Years of being obese has really taken a toll on my poor body and so things like just standing too long hurts.  I shouldered through, though.  After the event was over, I went back out to the plaza and took the signs down.  My physical job wasn't at all a big deal when it came to this event, but sometimes just little things like standing and bending over is hard at this weight.  

After I was done with that, I went on my lunchtime walk with my friend.  We always have a great time when we go walking.  It seems like the time goes by so fast, especially with two friends just talking the whole time.  Sometimes I do have to tell her to slow down a little, but I'm hoping that improves with time and I can keep up.  I'm so proud of myself for continuing to do the lunchtime walks because it's a great way for me to get exercise in each time.  I do get sweaty and I hate that when I have to work for the rest of the day.  However, I have to choose between that and not getting in the exercise.  When I consider the fact that it is so good for my heart, helps me lose weight and gets me out of the office for a while, I'll deal with being sweaty.  Besides, I have a fan and that seems to cool me down.  

After our walk today, I helped set up for another event we had in the afternoon with some of our parents.  So I worked with our student office aides and set up for that.  It hurt my back again but I pushed through.  I seem to do that a lot, pushing through pain.  I know that's not good to do, but I am on pain medication and it hardly makes a dent.  When I was done, I had a student waiting for me in my office and missed singing to one of my co-workers that had a birthday (one of those days I guess).  Whenever we have a birthday, we all gather around in the office, sing to the person and have cake or some such thing.  Today it was cupcakes.  The admin assistant who put on the celebration saw me afterwards and I mentioned to her that I accidentally missed.  She knew I had been out walking earlier and so she asked me, ever so sweetly, if I would like a cupcake.  Would I like a cupcake?  Oh, I don't know, is the sky blue?  Of course I wanted a freakin' cupcake!!  Yet, I didn't have one.  Sweets are a weakness for me.  One cupcake is too many and a thousand are never enough.  Does anyone else relate to that?  As long as I don't have one, I'm fine.  Of course, I had those feelings inside wondering why I have to be so different.  I got over myself, though, because I realize it really is no big deal at all in the grand scheme of things.  I mean, yeah, I can't eat cupcakes in moderation.  That's okay because it could be much worse.  If I think about it, seriously it could be a whole lot worse.  I could substitute it for not being able to drink alcohol in moderation or not being able to do drugs in moderation.  Okay, perspective!

Water Challenge Day 52:  Drank 70 of 182 ounces
(yeah, really bad job today but I'm still working on it)


kathyj333 said...

Well hello Kathy, My name is Kathy, too. I'm following your blog. I hope you'll follow mine, too.

Yeah, I'm a sweet junky, too. If they would stop making cakes and cookies altogether, I might stand a fighting chance. And I treat sweets the same way an alcoholic treats alcohol. Let's stay in this fight together.

I'm working on using self hypnosis to change my internal script. It's working to some degree. To tell you the truth, I think it's the only thing that's going to work because until I change what I'm saying to myself, nothing will change.

happyinca said...

Hi Kathy, you are doing such a great job with everything! You're so lucky to have a buddy to walk with at work, and you deserve a huge round of applause for doing it. I totally understand the cupcake/any cake thing. It's a temptation for me too, and I feel like one is never enough.

Caitlin R said...

I'm with you on the sweets, Kathy. I am a sucker for anything like that. I'm not a huge cake person, but the icing - yes. I would eat the heads off a dozen cupcakes. And almost everything else sweet. Or bread-y. Yep, I won't be hurrying back to that kind of thing either. So, you're not alone. In fact, it's not even anything essentially wrong with you. Our body's/brain's response to sugar has that effect on everyone - just to different degrees, I guess.

Kathy said...

Hi Kathy! Yes, I'm following you too ;-) I completely agree with you that the internal messages do have to change if we expect to change. One of my friends used to say that we have to re-record the messages on the tapes paying in our heads to new, healthier messages.

Christy - I feel like a champion walking during lunch at work. You've seen the calories I've been burning on MyFitnessPal ... that's a huge incentive!!

Caitlin - Oh my gosh, I do the same thing with the tops of cupcakes (and muffins). I admit that I will eat the whole darn thing, but it's the same sort of toxic attraction. If only I could be attracted to broccoli like that!

Beth Ann said...

Good for you for turning down the cupcake. That is hard to do!

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