Saying no to ten more years

I'm not even going to talk about the non-sleeping CPAP situation.  No news means no sleep.  Ho hum.  Someday soon I'll sleep again through the night, at least I hope so.

I was going through my mail earlier today, just trying to catch up on not having checked the mailbox for a few days.  One of the catalogs that came screamed this headline:

Kathy B.

Exclusive offer for being a customer
for over 10 years

This particular catalog was from Roaman's, with the other two coming from Woman Within and Jessica London.  I just have to say that I really want to end my shopping relationship with these companies.  They sell only larger sizes and, except for Jessica London, the clothes are just awful.  No offense to those of you out there that love their clothes, but everything has huge flowers, horrible 60's patterns and polyester everything.  I have always viewed them as catalogs I had to order some clothes out of because I had outgrown the sizes in the stores or were at the tail end of what was available.  I have found some things that were palatable, but really they have always made me feel much older than I really am.  Oh how I wish my relationship with them had only been 10 years.  My need to go to the big clothes store or order from catalogs specializing in plus sizes has been for something like 35 years.  I'm 42 by the way.

That's the thing with being overweight ... it just makes me feel old.  I look like a completely different person when I'm thinner.  I must also admit that I smile more.  Maybe it's because I feel happier, who knows.  I know I definitely feel healthier and can wear cuter clothes.  That's not the reason I'm planning on doing the gastric bypass surgery, not at all.  It's all about feeling and being healthier.  Of course, if I can be cuter along the way, I won't fight that.  I think feeling more attractive, though, is really about how we feel about ourselves on the inside.  Some of the those most beautiful people in the world aren't necessarily beautiful in the conventional sense, but ooze it because of their inner beauty.  Being thin isn't the answer in all times, but there is a boost in self-confidence I feel when I am in a healthier place.

For this coming week, I really want to focus on getting exercise in at least three days a week.  During this last week, I only exercise one day this week and that was today.  That wasn't enough for me.  In fact, it actually made my body hurt more.  So I'm committing to doing that here and now.

Day 26:  Drank 145 of 185 ounces