Needing more structure

Incredibly happy it's the weekend, beyond happy  I still am not getting great sleep, so I'm looking forward to getting rest tonight and this weekend.  Tomorrow I'm taking my car back to the shop.  I had a bunch of things done on it earlier in the month, including having the front and rear brakes replaced.  However, when I'm stopping from faster speeds, the brakes are making loud sounds.  I'm trying not to do a freak out about it because it should be something they would take care of, I'll just have to see when I get there in the morning.

After taking care of my car, I have an appointment to have a consultation at Jenny Craig.  I actually wasn't going to talk about that here for quite some time for several reasons, but I decided that it's a forum that is mine and is the whole point of blogging.  I hope someone can gain from my experience, but it's ultimately for me to write about what's going on with me.  I have been following the Weight Watchers plan for about six months after ending my Optifast adventure.  With WW, there just isn't enough structure for me.  It's very easy to hide in the background or behind a computer screen.  For me, and this is just for me, I need more structure and accountability.  When I was on Optifast, I was one hundred percent compliant and was accountable to the counselor of our group.  It was different than the groups in WW.

So I've been looking at other programs, doing a lot of research, reading blogs of other people's experiences and just gleaning as much information as I can about what the right move is for me.  I can't stay in this place any longer.  I need the help to get healthier and just to feel better overall.  Sure, I dream of getting back into my size 16 jeans (or even going lower in size).  The pain I have in my legs I know will be better with less weight on my body.  I actually have this blog to thank for helping me come to a decision.  Writing out how I've been feeling on a pretty normal schedule has really helped me own where I am and what I'm feeling.  I know there may be some people reading this that are convinced that Jenny Craig is "just another diet".  Who knows, it might just be, but it is offering me something of what I need.  I need to be accountable to another human being and tell them what's going on when it comes to my weight and my eating.  Through the program, I can meet with a counselor on a one-on-one basis 1-3 times each week with no added costs.  That is really appealing to me.

After I made the final decision that I was going to move forward on this, I have to admit that a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I felt ... happy.  I just so desperately want to feel better.  The funny thing is that I'm not even balking at the cost.  It's actually about the same cost of what I spent each week on Optifast.  When I add together all the money I have spent on going out to eat, Starbuck's drinks and my food at the grocery store, it pretty quickly starts really getting in the ballpark of the cost of doing a program with so much support and help.  It's what I need and, frankly, what I want.  I deserve to spend this money on myself, my happiness and my health.  So I meet with one of the counselors tomorrow morning at 11:00 a.m.  I have done the program before and lost a lot of weight and I know it is possible for me to lose weight because I lost 190 pounds on Optifast.  I feel strongly that this is a good move for me and I also know that if it's not right, the door swings both ways.  Now I pray for strength and courage as I walk forward.