A peaceful Sunday

I'm happy to report I had a nice, non-drama day.  Blood sugar was perfectly normal all day long, thank you God.  I did have more carbs when the level was on the lower side of normal and that seems to have done the trick to keep it where it should be.  I didn't even have a wake up in the middle of the night with a crash of my levels.  I do have to say that I am super grateful for that.  You can't imagine the stress and anxiousness something like that causes when you're in a dead sleep only to wake up with sweating, shaking, disorientation and the other symptoms I was having all the time.  I'm not saying that it's over now, but I'm watching it closely and just taking it a day at a time. 

I wasn't able to exercise for quite a few days this past week because of the low blood sugar, so it felt really good to get out there.  Sara and I did our usual Sunday walk around the lake, going for 3.7 miles.  We went a little bit later in the morning since it's been so cold here.  My dad was teasing me when I told him it was under 30 degrees at my house because, where he lives in Utah, the temp is dipping into the negative territory.  I reminded him that something like that is expected in Utah, but I live in San Diego!  My legs hurt the entire time we were walking from the osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia.  I'm seeing my primary care doc on Tuesday morning, so I'm going to add that to the list of things I'll be talking to her about.  I do have an appointment to see the rheumatologist at the end of the month, but if there's anything she can do sooner, I'm totally up for that.  I have been doing some research online to ensure I'm eating the right sort of food to help with these two conditions in my legs.  Sometimes selecting different types of food helps greatly and, at this point, I'm willing to do whatever I can to feel better.  I cover up the pain pretty well when I'm around other people, but it really is intense.  The medication I am on to help with the leg pain definitely takes the edge off, but it's still difficult to endure.  Lifting my legs to get into my car hurts, so does sitting down, standing up, climbing, walking for long distances ... pretty much everything.  The weird thing is that, even though it's painful to walk long distances, nothing helps as much as walking long distances.  Go figure.

When I think about all the challenges I have had over the course of the last year, even the last couple of years, I am reminded that I'm a strong person.  Other people remind me of that, too (thanks Sara,  Melissa, Kim and Z).  No matter what is in front of me, I'm not shying away from the hurdles in front of me.  Looking back over the things that I have conquered so far, I know this is just part of my story and journey.  Tomorrow night I have my weigh-in and it's been a couple of weeks.  I know I have gained weight - I can feel it in my clothes.  It's just a matter of how much and how I deal with it.  I am trying to remember not to beat myself up over it, especially when I have had to contend with the immediate issue of raising significantly low blood sugar levels.  In the moment, that had to take priority.  If I'm not around because I've gone into a diabetic coma or worse due to the low blood sugar levels, the effort to lose more weight doesn't make much sense, now does it?  I caught myself being particularly harsh when I was looking in the mirror today.  That's behavior I've had all my life that takes real effort not to participate in.  We're our own worst critics and I don't have any business doing that to myself.  It's easier said than done to stop it, but I'm doing the best I can to recognize it and put the breaks on before it becomes a reason to eat.  Baby steps.