Friday, May 10, 2013

Whew, done with that!

I'm sooo exhausted.  I feel crazy even typing this right now, especially given that it's not even 5 a.m.  Maybe I'm dreaming and I'm really still sleeping?  That would be nice!  However, I finished at Cal State last night.  Thank you God.  This week has been full with me working all day and then staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning to work on two research papers, then attempting to get 2 or 3 hours of sleep, only to do it all over again.  There's a part of me who envies people who went to college right after high school, where there were no other real responsibilities except school and living at home.  It's much more difficult when a person is older, when full-time work and the stresses of everyday life are there in addition to going to college.  But, every person's road is different and I couldn't be happier about the job I've done to get here.  It means so much to me, I could never adequately explain how much.  Next weekend I will be walking in my commencement ceremony.  Can't you hear Pomp & Circumstance in your head right now? 

After the summer, I will be starting the process to apply to grad school.  I will be pursuing a master's degree in education to become a school counselor.  It's the field I already work in, so it's the natural next step for me.  It requires I take the CBEST (test all California teachers take), obtain a certificate of clearance, get letters of recommendation, do an essay, etc.  I'm so blessed by my very supportive friends and colleagues at work who have encouraged me every step of the way.  The only difficult part that I have encountered is the issue of having to complete field work and practicum hours given I work full-time during the day.  So I decided to go and talk to my principal before I even begin the paperwork.  I have done some research on programs I have been considering and they have laid out what the requirements would be for me in terms of how it would affect my work schedule.  Essentially, I will need to adjust my schedule and it will most certainly impact my work.  I walked into his office, closed his door and said that the reason for my meeting with him was a personal issue.  I began by saying how much I appreciate his continuing support and where things stand for me right now in terms of grad school.  We talked about the impact of these hours on my future work schedule because I needed to know that he would work with me on those when it came time.  He, of course, was completely flexible and open with me.  I know he appreciates my work and he also knows how dedicated I am to the kids at our high school.  I assured him I am not looking for work elsewhere, but this is just my next step.  I never even realized how emotional the conversation could get.  He told me how difficult it would be to potentially lose me when the time comes.  I shook my head and told him I know, but we also don't know what the future holds.  Perhaps by that time they'll be able to bring on more counselors at our school or area schools, we just don't know.  It was a difficult conversation for me because this school and its staff has really changed my life.  When I came on staff eight years ago, I was at the district office for 15 years before that and I was treated horribly by my previous supervisor.  She was just awful to me and did everything she could to break my spirit and spread vicious rumors about me at the district when I had the audacity to leave.  I took a demotion to come to the high school but, at that time, it didn't matter.  What mattered was getting out of my situation and remembering what we are all there to do - educating our kids.  The first day at that work site was incredible ... I felt like a thousand pounds was lifted off of my shoulders.  I have been treated so wonderfully there and have met some fantastic people.  Regardless of what happens in the future, it's not here yet so we'll just take it as it comes.  Given that green light I got from my principal, I'll be pursuing grad school.  All this from a girl who was told she wasn't very smart in the past.  Granted, that was from a person that was trying to break me down, but still. 

So, anyway, that's where I'm at right now.  I'm hoping to get back to regular exercise, regular eating and regular life now.  I've just been getting by in the last couple of weeks and, right now, all I want to do is climb in bed next to my two kitties and stay in my bed to rest for the entire weekend.  But, nope, got to greet the day.  Ah, the life of an adult ;-)


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