Taking this time for myself

Approaching the start of this summer, I knew I wasn't going to pursue much work while I was on vacation from my job at the high school.  I thought about it since I don't earn a salary during the summer break, but I also knew that I would need to give myself time to go to all of the medical appointments leading up to the surgery.

The pre-op classes ended last week and so I'm focused on things coming up.  Within the next several weeks, I have about ten various appointments and that doesn't even include meeting with the Pacific Bariatric psychiatrist, internist and surgeon.  I'm continuing to see my therapist, meeting with the sleep specialist, I've got the fit test on Thursday and so much more.

Like a lot of people I know, I have a tendency to take care of other people before myself.  Well, now is finally the time - just like the name of my blog suggests.  Now is the time to put my health first.  Now is the time that I focus on what my needs are as I walk forward into major surgery.

I've spent some time this summer (so far) with friends, but I've also spent some time alone, too.  It's okay to be alone.  I always associated being alone with being in a depressive state, at least for me.  In the past, I chose to be alone because I was isolating.  Now I am choosing some time by myself because I am embarking on a huge change in my life, one that will impact me for the rest of my life.

Having the surgery is not a decision I take lightly at all.  I don't joke about it and I have given it serious consideration at every turn.  Part of my alone time has been focused on talking and praying to God, getting back into His Word.  I am strengthening my faith as I move forward and I know I will continue to do so as I move closer to the day when the operation will take place.

In the meantime, I am also appreciating time with friends and family, remembering what an amazing support system I have in them.  I know I have incredible support online as well.  I have met some pretty terrific people through this blog, Twitter, MyFitnessPal and Instagram.  Sharing my story with other people reminds me that while this world is big, other people travel the same roads I do and if they can do it, so can I.  I'm taking these days one at a time and putting one foot in front of the other.  I'm remembering to stop and breathe through the fear and excitement I feel.  Breathe, Kathy, breathe.