A very good day

I am beyond thrilled to report that I received the letter in the mail from the dermatologist's office and my biopsies came back benign/normal.  Hooooray!  The letter actually came yesterday but I just checked the mail this morning.  I'm still dealing with the pain of having skin carved out of my body, but that will certainly heal.  Being without cancer is my biggest priority.

I picked up my mother this morning and took her for a walk on the beach.  She was excited to go with me, but did tell me that she hasn't exercised in a while so we would need to go a little slower.  She actually was going faster than me and I had to tell her to slow down.  My mom is over 20 years older than me and I freakin' had to tell her to slow down.  I didn't feel great about that but then I caught myself in the moment ... we all have our own issues and I don't need to beat myself up over the fact that I may need to walk slower.  Here's a picture of us doing a selfie about a mile in.

Forgive our sweatiness!  Looking at this picture, I feel like a giant.  I never realized how much taller I am than my mom.  I believe she's 5'5" and I'm almost 5'10".  We ended up walking over 8,000 steps in our jaunt.  My mom called me later in the day and told me she was already feeling soreness in her legs and ankles.  Hmm, so it appears there's another reason for me not to beat myself up - my mom was walking fast but at a cost.  She did tell me that she'd like to do that every Sunday with me to get exercise in and to keep her away from spending time in local casinos.  I'm all for that.  So next time we'll walk slower and maybe have her stretch out beforehand.

Later in the day, I had dinner with a friend.  We had the most scrumptious sushi.  Here's what I had.

I know, it looks amazing and, trust me, it tasted just as amazing.  It had five different types of baked fish, avocado and a delicious spicy sauce on top.  We talked about a lot of different things but one thing we spent a lot of time discussing is my upcoming surgery.  It turns out that her husband is a nurse in the very hospital where I will be having my surgery.  As I get closer to the time when it will happen, part of me feels very nervous while another part of me feels incredibly at peace.  Don't even ask me how I could be feeling both those things at the very same time.  I think, more than anything else, I switch those feelings depending on the day.  I have absolutely no pause with moving forward with the gastric bypass, but it's just an incredibly major surgery that will alter the rest of my life.  That's something I want, though.  The change to my life, while it is difficult on the one hand to know I will never be able to eat the same way again, is for a greater quality of life and prolonged good health.  To know that I may wake up from surgery without diabetes and sleep apnea is a really big deal.  Even if it doesn't happen instantaneously like that, the potential is there and that means a great deal to me.  That's why people such as me opt for surgery.  A good quality of life is very important.  I live in pain 24/7 and to know I have the potential of being pain-free or at least in significantly less pain is a really big deal.  Huge in fact.