Alright, much better today

I walked into today knowing that I had let go of my mistakes with snacking on junk last night instead of having a real dinner.  Writing about it on here really helped tremendously.  In fact, when I was walking with Sara today, she mentioned that I'm an open book on here.  I have to agree with her.  I pretty much put it all out there.  For me, this is a real journey to let go of the weight and part of that process is dealing with the emotions that come as a result, otherwise I will continue to use food as a crutch.  So I vowed to myself when I started this blog that I would be as transparent as possible.  I'm not as brave as some other people when they post pics of themselves with just underwear on or just a workout bra and exercise pants on because, personally, I think that's going a bit too far beyond my comfort zone.  Writing, though, releases so much and helps me get down to true feelings.

After walking at the lake, I spent some time working on my backyard.  There are these huge trees right over my house and they shed a lot during the winter, so there were leaves galore.  I managed to fill two big trash bags of just leaves, but it felt good to clear a good portion of it.  My back was hurting from doing all that bending.   The big reason I am pursuing weight loss surgery is to feel healthier.  A contributing factor is the pain I feel all over my body, including my bad back.  I know that having less weight to contend with will really help alleviate much, if not all, of the pain I feel in my back.  I do know my limits and had to stop, even though I saw weeds I could attack.  It was enough work back there.

My dinner was a stir fry in extra virgin olive oil of
turkey sausage, carrots and yellow bell
pepper over quinoa.  Yummo!

I did much better with my meals today, having them at regular intervals.  I weighed and measured every single thing that went into my body, which was great because then I knew exactly what I was consuming with no guessing.  Some people really hate weighing and measuring, feeling like they are on some sort of diet and having negative feelings associated with that.  For me, there is a certain sense of freedom that comes with weighing and measuring in a weird sense.  It lets me know that I am having what I'm supposed to be having for my good health.  That doesn't mean I can't have fabulous food, just an appropriate amount of fabulous food. I tracked everything into MyFitnessPal, including my water consumption.  I had 72 ounces of water, which was good, but I'm trying to aim for about 100 ounces or so a day.

One of the things that was alarming, though, was my blood sugar level.  I made a really awful decision early in the day in regards to that.  When I woke up first thing in the morning, my blood sugar was 275.  Gulp.  I knew it was because of what I did the night before.  When it was time to inject my insulin this morning, instead of my usual six units, I increased it to 30 units. I can already hear you wondering what the heck I was doing, that it's an incredibly dangerous and, frankly, stupid thing to do.  Clearly I was wanting to get it down badly.  After I came home from the walk with Sara, I checked my blood sugar again and it was 170.  I was pretty surprised it wasn't in the normal range yet after having walked almost three miles.  Of course I didn't think about the fact that it went down 105 points.  However, by the time I was ready to make my dinner, I felt extremely shaky and was starting to sweat.  I instinctively knew my blood sugar had gone too low.  Diabetics know their bodies and can usually tell if blood sugar levels are too high or too low. I pulled out my meter to test and it showed me at 61.  Shit!  Hmm Kathy Jean, do you think that perhaps injecting 30 units this morning was the smartest move you've ever made??  I stopped what I was doing to have a piece of bread so that I could get my blood sugar up.  I contemplated just waiting until my dinner was ready but I was so shaky that I worried about using a knife to cut my veggies.  Everything is fine now and I feel good.  I usually have two Glyburide pills with my dinner to help control my blood sugar but I decided to forgo them since I was so low.  Note to self:  do not do that again.  Duh.