How far will you go?

This week has been exhausting for me, plain and simple.  When I'm not able to get enough sleep as it is, it has made me feel like a zombie.  I've been pulling it together, though, to be functioning but it has been a real effort.  It's made me think a lot about how far I'm willing to go to take care of myself.

There have been times in my life where I would say, "I'm too busy to exercise."  I'm sure other people have uttered the same words and felt the same way.  Yes, there are some days where it's just not possible to set aside that hour.  I experienced that this past week.  For a couple of the days, it just wasn't physically possible with working, going to school and studying for a huge mid-term exam that I had to take on Wednesday.  Given that I'm in my last semester at the university except for a couple of summer classes, I can't slack off now.  With the business of the week at work, my friend and I haven't been able to go on our lunchtime walks except for one day. 

Then there were other days this week where I made the time to exercise.  I always feel better when I do that, especially with the ongoing pain I have.  Exercise, even if it's just for 30 minutes, is the best thing for me.  That's how far I am willing to go.  I can think of many times in my life where I went to far lengths to eat at a certain restaurant for a decadent meal I knew I shouldn't be having but I wanted or other times where I went out of my way to drive to a grocery store where people didn't recognize me to buy food that I wanted to have.  There's shame when I think back to that behavior now, but I did it.  It's as if I was a drug addict, but my drug of choice was ice cream or a sugary doughnut.  If I was willing to go to those lengths to do those things before, I certainly can eek out time to take care of my body in a healthy way. It reminds me of that saying:

That's not to say that what we all have to do is not important, but I have to always remember that, for me, I have to be committed to take action towards having a healthier life.  Speaking of which, I found out in my other class last night the mid-term we will be taking next Thursday is all essay writing.  I have the same professor for both of these classes.  On Wednesday night, half the exam was essays and they were long.  For next Thursday, it will be a two hour exam of pure writing.  Why should I complain about that?  Well, it's not the content or the formulating of essays that's bothering me.  I have carpel tunnel, tendinitis and scar tissue damage from a botched surgery in my writing hand.  Under normal circumstances, I am in extreme pain by the end of the night because my job requires a lot of work using my hands or I'm taking notes in class.  If you add in two hours of solid writing, that's tear-producing pain.  So, with the continuing theme of going to any lengths to take care of my health, I am taking next Thursday off of work so that I could rest my hand before taking the exam.  Living in pain 24/7 is extremely difficult.  I put on a good face a lot of times where people can't see the pain, but trust me ... it hurts.   

Tonight I plan on going to sleep and sleeping in until my body is done getting what it needs.  Then I'll be doing some strength training before heading over to the gym for a good workout tomorrow before I hit the books again.  I actually miss the exercise when I don't get it in every day.  Believe me, I never imagined I'd live to see the day when I would say I miss exercise.  As difficult as my weight loss journey has been, there are some things I've picked up along the way that have been invaluable to me and the joy of exercise is one.  I'm extremely grateful for that gift.