Has my diabetes returned?

Since being back on full-food and off of Optifast products, I have had two times when I checked my blood sugar that the number was too high for my comfort level.  This morning it was 144 and the other day it was 186.  That's alarming to me, especially the second number.  However, all my other checks show me at either within the normal range or below it.  But, instead of focusing on all the good numbers, I'm focusing on the two that are too high.  So I have to look at why they're too high.  On one of the days, I think that was the day where I had all those cashews, extra protein and extra fruit.  There were a lot of carbs in there.  The one from this morning is a little unexplainable because I did a nearly two-hour workout last night and think I did fine on the food, although I was really very hungry when I came home from work and probably had more food than I should have.  I went into the clinic tonight to talk to one of the physician's assistants and she told me it would be a good idea to put me back on Glyburide, a diabetes medication, but to take it only on an as-needed basis.  She also wants me to make an appointment with my primary care doctor to just review where I'm at since I'm now fully off of the Optifast products.  She said I shouldn't worry at this point since it was just two episodes, but the appointment would be just to monitor it.  I should, however, continue being diligent about tracking my food and exercise so that I can see patterns.  I am in a remission period with the diabetes, but it can return at any time and obviously I want to be on top of anything that can lead me back down that road.  Instead, I need to relax as much as possible.  The last couple of months have been highly stressful for me dealing with all sorts of medical issues, lack of sleep and just trying to do too much.  Relaxing sounds like a great idea to me.  To that end, I only have two more days until I'm on a two-week break from work.  Since I'm also on a break from school, it really will be about taking good care of myself, getting plenty of rest and finding a good sleep pattern again.  It's been so hard for me to relax lately.  Even Christmas is stressing me out.  Since I've spent so much money on Optifast this year, I really don't have the extra funds to be getting gifts for others.  I know everyone will understand, especially given that it was money spent on me and my health, but for me it's difficult because I enjoy giving to others and I just am not in a financial position to really do that this year.  This is part of acceptance, though.  Not everything works out exactly the way I want it and I just have to find a way to deal with that.

Question of the Day
How much weight do you want to lose and it is a realistic/healthy goal for you?

Since my initial meeting with the medical staff at the Optifast clinic, a goal weight was set for me of 160 pounds.  Looking at the BMI chart, although that can't be the sole criterion for determining ideal body weight, 160 was within a healthy body size for my height (5'9").  When I started the program, I weighed in at 417 pounds, so that would be a difference of 257 pounds.  Man, that seemed like the biggest mountain to climb in the world.  A target weight of 160 pounds seems like a low number, but on the other hand, at least in my mind, it seemed like too big a number.  Shouldn't I be around 150?  This is my thinking inside, not taking into account my height.  Of course, it's completely ridiculous for a woman who is 5'9" to weigh 150 pounds.  That's just not healthy.  And the last time I saw my Optifast counselor, he said 160 is too low for me.  However, as I get closer to the number, we'll have to just play it by ear.  I suppose if I'm being completely honest with myself, 160 pounds is too low of a goal weight for me.  At the end of the day, I don't have a clue what is healthy for me because I've never had a normal body size before, not ever.  Who am I to say what is healthy and not healthy, except my gut that usually is very accurate about these sort of things.  My part in all of this is that I need to food the footwork and God will guide me in the right direction when it comes time.  I just have to be willing to listen and not think I know better ... because I have no clue.