Not just a restaurant spectator any more

Today was the first time in almost eight months that I have gone to a restaurant and actually ate a meal.  For the entire time I have been on Optifast products, I have gone to restaurants with friends to be sociable and not isolate myself just because I happened to not be eating food at the time.  I couldn't do it in the very beginning, given it was all new to not be eating anything.  But after a month or so, I was able to sit with other people who were eating and be satisfied with my unsweetened iced tea or diet soda.  Today, since I now have one meal per day in addition to my six shakes, I chose to have it in a restaurant with a friend after work.

We ended up going to a popular restaurant that I have overeaten at many times before.  I couldn't believe how much room was between my seat and the edge of the table when, literally, I was squeezing into the booth before.  It was just another visual reminder of how far I've come.  Now, I just can't decide to go to a restaurant and leave it to chance that I will be able to select something from the menu.  I went online and looked ahead at their menu to figure out not only calories and carb servings but also sodium content since I'm trying to watch other areas as well.  The restaurant we settled on had a good variety of foods and it seemed like I had a couple of choices in selecting something.  Still, that was no easy task.  I toiled over my decision but finally decided to go with a fish dish.  The frustrating part was that everything came smothered in one sauce or another.  When the waitress came to take our order, I told her I wanted the fish but I wanted it plain with no special sauce or oil on top.  She told me it also came with steamed broccoli (good) and rice or a potato (not good).  So I asked if I could substitute a small salad for the starch and requested that the salad come with no croutons or cheese and to have the fat-free dressing on the side.  The look she gave me was along the lines of yes, we'll accommodate you but I'm not happy about it.  Well, regardles of that, I have to take care of myself and if not now, then when?

So out came my slimmer version of a pretty terrific tasting fish.  It felt great to be able to be in a restaurant and ask for what I wanted.  It felt like healthy living to me.  And I was able to take home my leftover fish and broccoli to make two more meals.  More importantly, I wasn't at all obsessed about what I was ordering.  I made the decision and then just moved on from there.  I was able to enjoy the company of my friend and be present enough to experience every part of the situation.  As each day passes on the partial fast, the more comfy I'm starting to feel.