Spending time with family

Hi my lovelies,

Happy belated Thanksgiving.  I hope everyone had an awesome holiday full of thanks with family and friends.  My mother and I went to visit my brother and sister-in-law out in Las Vegas.  Overall I would say it was a good visit. I discovered bow bad my mother's foot and mouth disease really is though. She was going on and on about how bad she felt I looked after I gained weight at the conclusion of the Optifast program I was on.  And I quote...

"After you got off Optifast, you got really fat really fast.". 

I responded with, "Gee, thanks mom.". I was fuming. She said this in front of everyone.  I told her that was incredibly rude to say and she responded by telling me that she was just "keeping it real.". I told her that just because someone says they're keeping it real does not mean you can say whatever.  People have feelings and emotions.  Later I told her I was still mad but she just didn't get it. I raised my voice at her and told her she was rude.  How would she feel if someone said she was "incredibly fat", especially in front of other people?  Getting off the safety and security and Optifast was hard, made even harder by gaining weight back.  I stood my ground though.  If she wasn't talking about my body post-Optifast then she was talking about how much I'm dropping now.  I totally get why people say they don't want to tell any family.  Other than all of that, the rest of the visit was perfectly normal. Well, as normal as can be expected. 

Over the holiday week, I upgraded my iPhone to the 6+ and I'm typing this post on my new Microsoft Surface Pro.  New gadgets are fun, aren't they?  I bought the tablet for my master's work but the phone was an upgrade for me.  Now I can be all over my house doing my work.  Heck, I can even be outside in my back patio while using the Surface.  That's what I'm talking about!  Grad school is completely challenging so anything that makes my life easier is a good thing.

I have been really lax on posting to this blog.  I swear I'm not doing it on purpose, but its still happening.  So I'm committing here and now that I will post something everyday for the next week.  I want to get back in the groove of doing what I know works.

I'll have you know that I'm perfectly normal

I have had a very long relationship with my primary care doctor.  She has been overseeing my healthcare for about 20 years.  As such, she's seen me go through so much with declining health as well as all the improvements I've made.   Since I had the gastric bypass done, she continues to monitor me.  Recently, I had some lab work done to check on my A1C level for diabetes.  This is a certain test to determine your average blood sugar readings over the past 2-3 months.  The ultimate goal is to have a diabetic at a level 7.1 or lower.  I've had times when my level was at a 12!  My diabetes was absolutely out of control and no amount of medication, diet or exercise was keeping my levels healthy.  Well, I'm pleased to report that I'm now normal.  The A1C I just had done says my level is 6.9.  Happy dance time! 

I don't know how it works in the body that after you have this sort of surgery, your diabetes goes into remission.  All I know is that it has.  For all intents and purposes, I'm no longer a diabetic.  Yes, I continue to monitor, but I no longer present as someone with diabetes.  I can't even tell you how thrilled my doctor is.  She has told me she is absolutely proud of me for taking control of my health and being so brave.  Having the surgery is incredibly scary.  Putting your trust in the care of a surgeon who will ultimately change your life is mind-blowing.  Yet, it was the best decision I ever made.  Period.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize my own face.  Who is that staring back at me?  This is really about meeting myself all over again.

Weekly weigh-in

Hi gang.  I weighed in this morning and I lost 4.4 pounds this week, bringing me down to 284 pounds from my top weight of 420 pounds.  It's been so fantastic seeing the weight dropping off my body.  I am also working really hard, so it's not falling off by itself.  For example, I knew that I would have class tonight, so I got up early this morning to exercise.  I also went on a couple of walks during the day.  At this point I'm already over 15,000 steps and it's not even 5pm.  Feeling pretty damn proud of myself.

Speaking of school, I did start my master's program last week.  It has been thrilling and absolutely exhausting at the same time.  When I was working on some reading for class, it hit me that I'm really doing this.  Me, little Kathy, who always doubted herself, is in a freaking master's program.  That is so rad.

On the dating front, things hVe been going well overall.  I did decide to stop seeing the hot 23-year old.  He was certainly a LOT of fun, but we're just in different places.  Not to worry though, I somehow have my pick of guys interested in me.  I just have so many contacting me.  And here I was thinking no one would be interested.  So right now I'm just having fun, dating around.  Don't worry, I'm being safe and careful.

Got to head in to class.  Until next time!!

Constipation woes and shocking other people

One of the issues people have to deal with that have bariatric surgery is constipation.  I know that I have to use aids to help me because things just don't "flow" correctly (I seriously am trying not to be vulgar).  What works for me is that I stay regular when I drink one cap full of Miralax with a beverage in the evenings.  As long as I do that religiously, then I have no problems.

Well guess who has not done that religiously?  I know, hanging my head in shame.  Now it's uncomfortable to sit.  I have been drinking more to get things moving again, but it may take a day or two to catch up.

Not to place blame, but I have been preoccupied.  Since I started dating or preparing to do so, I seem almost addicted to it.  It's a strange feeling.  I can acquaint it to a young teenage girl getting excited about meeting a boy she's interested in and everything becomes about that boy.  I'm experiencing the same thing, but as a 42-year-old woman.  I have the butterflies in my tummy.  It just amazes me how much I think about him and what possibilities lie in front of me.  It's not even just with him but dating in general.  When you're an obese or overweight person, this part of life often times feels like it is not attainable for you, as if everyone else is in on a secret you are just not privy to.  Yet, here I am, right in the thick of it, feeling beautiful and worthy.  I pray we should all feel that way.  We all deserve to feel that way.

Today my mother came over for a visit and she hasn't seen me in about a month.  She has a key to my house so she came in while I was in the restroom.  When I walked into the room, her jaw just dropped.  She said the weight difference is incredibly noticeable.  When you look at me, you can clearly see it in my jawline and around my hands.  It's the little things that become noticeable, like collarbones and seeing actual wrists.  I know you guys know what I'm talking about.  These non-scale victories are huge.  I did tell her about the new guy in my life and that she should not be using that key unless she gets my permission to enter beforehand, for obvious reasons.  She blushed when I told her that.  I did admit he is younger and she was trying to guess how much younger and she wanted me to show her pictures.  In time I will share with her the details, but for right now we are having fun and I don't want things to dampen that.  There definitely is an age difference, but I don't want others (including myself) judging the situation unfairly.  Besides, he pursued me, not the other way around.

Anyway, here I am trying to be a better blogger!  Off to bed I must go.

Trying to find balance

Kathy has been a bad blogger!  I'm sorry.  Things are going not so great on the work front and fanatastic in my personal life.

I can't go into specifics in terms of what's been happening at work so I'll have to be in generalities.  My position is classified and not certificated.  However, there has generally been a healthy mutual respect.  Over the last 6 months or so, a certain group of certificated people have been treating me and a co-worker like shit lately.  After trying to ignore the problem, things have just gotten worse.  So we recently confronted them and got administration involved.  It's not just us who have been dealing with this.  Other people have used the word "toxic" when describing the work environment.  So anyway, we have stood up for ourselves. In some ways, things are better.  In others, not so much.  It's caused a great deal of stress and anger.  I'm trying my best to hang in there though.

And now onto the fantastic part!  I decided that it was time for me to start dating again.  It's been three years since I've been in a relationship so I was really nervous.  I decided to try online dating as a way to meet people.  The first day I signed up, I had 30 men contact me.  From the time I put my profile up until yesterday, I'd estimate 70 have contacted me.  It was absolutely overwhelming.  Some were trying to be scammers, but most were not.  I had my first date last night with a guy I really like. The whole day through, I had butterflies in my tummy.  He is 6'1" to my 5'10" so even that excited me.  His pictures did him no kind of justice.  He's very fit, sexy and just amazing.  I didn't feel self-conscious at all being around him.  And he told me how beautiful and gorgeous he thought I was often. Oh, then there's the age thing.  Friends, I am officially a cougar.  He is so much younger than me but you couldn't tell from how well we connected.  He was so sweet with me and we had a great conversation.  We already made plans for date number two next week.  No matter how bad things have been at work, being the target of affection with someone I'm so attracted  to just makes it so much better.  

So anyway. On the whole, things are fabulous!  I need to improve with my bad blogging habits.  I do have Blogger on my phone now so I can write from anywhere. Hope everyone is doing well.