Sunday, January 22, 2012

Experiences of others

Today I spent some time with one of my friends who was on Optifast in the 90's and she had a negative experience with the program at the time.  I was a little reluctant to tell her I was going to be starting the program soon because I didn't want it to bring up negative memories for her, but I also felt it was important to tell her.  We're very close, like sisters, and not saying anything would feel like I was ashamed and I'm not.  She developed a gall bladder problem when she did it, so I can understand.  As we talked, she told me that she doesn't judge me and she understands my reasons for why I have chosen this route.  One of the things that was amazing during my conversation with her was talking about the positive effect it will have on my diabetes.  I have struggled with that disease for so long, trying so hard to get my blood sugar numbers under control and really feeling so frustrated.  I really wish I didn't have to wait, I want to get going now.  As you can probably tell, I am not terribly patient.  I actually am when I am dealing with the kids at work, but not when it comes to things in my personal life.  It will happen in 2-3 weeks after they've done all the tests and assessments, so I know it's coming.  I know when I am in the thick of it, this period of waiting won't matter any more.  I guess it's one of those things in my life that I am doing for me, not to please anybody else, and that's why I'm anxious to get going.  Putting myself first is hard, but my health is really important and I feel like I'm finally ready.

In the meantime, I start another semester of college tomorrow.  In addition to working full-time, I go to school pretty much full-time, too.  I'm finishing up my BA and then will be starting grad school next January.  There's a lot going on in my life, that's for sure, but I still must make time for taking care of myself.  It's part of what got me here in the first place, just putting everything else before me and not dealing with things in the right way.


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